We waited for my parents to sit down and for my mother to tell us it was okay to eat. While I was starving, I wasn’t rude and I’d wait.
We all started eating, and I was surprised when my father signed. Usually he didn’t interact in a conversation unless he was being talked to first.
“So, what’s new with you girls? How’s the bookstore, Kaia? How’s your father?”
I looked at Kaia, and my stomach immediately bottomed out. Icould see the shine in her eyes, and I knew the tears were coming. I rubbed her hand and squeezed it three times like I always did to let her know I was there. She smiled and turned to my parents, raising her hands at the same time she opened her mouth to speak.
“The store is doing really well. We are renovating part of the back so I can have an office. Drea insisted I needed my own space even though I told her I was perfectly fine on one of the couches.” She smiled softly before it fell away.
I hated this for her. I never brought up her father unless she did. I didn’t want to upset her, and anytime someone mentioned him, I could tell she fought so hard to keep the tears away. Tonight wasn’t any different.
“My dad passed away a few weeks ago. He had another heart attack. Daisy’s been kind enough to let me stay with her for the time being.”
I looked toward my mother, who wore a sad expression and rested her hand on Kaia’s arm. “I’m sorry, honey. That must be very difficult. I’m glad my daughter finally moved you in. I’ve been wondering when that would happen. She adores you, dear, and so do we. If you need anything at all, you know we are always here for you.”
I was so embarrassed, but Kaia just smiled as if she didn’t pick up on what she was saying. “She did tell me I was the favorite. And thank you, that means a lot to me, truly.”
“Of course, honey. We love both of our girls the same. I can’t wait to spoil the grandbabies you give me. I’m?—”
I slammed my hands on the table to get my mother to stop word vomiting. “Mom!”
I couldn’t believe she just said that. I’d told her so many times that we were just friends, but mothers never listened. I gave Kaia an apologetic look, but the expression she gave me was confusing. I couldn’t read what her eyes were telling me.
She turned back to my mom and shook her head. “Daisy and I are just friends. I can’t help you on the grandkid front, I’m afraid. I’m sure someone else can, though.”
She shrugged and went back to eating as if nothing had happened. Something strange twisted in my gut at her words. I didn’t know why; wewerejust friends and we weren’t going to give her grandchildren. So why did seeing her correct my mom leave a sour taste in my mouth?
The conversation was dropped and we all went back to our plates without another word. I kept glancing at Kaia who wasn’t really eating her food. I nudged her to get her attention and asked what was wrong. She just smiled and said nothing and took a bite.
I didn’t believe her, but I wasn’t about to question her at dinner with my parents, so I left it alone. If it was something serious, she’d talk about it eventually. It was probably about my mom asking about her dad.
We stayed for another hour or so, eating and talking about things other than my lack of dating Kaia, and it was nice for us all to be together.
When we got home, I asked again if she was okay. She gave me a one-shouldered shrug and a sad smile. “I’m fine. I’m just thinking about my dad. I’m going to head to bed early. I’ll see you in the morning?”
I walked over and wrapped her in a tight hug, rubbing up and down her back. When I let go, she had tears in her eyes. I wiped them away and we said goodnight. I didn’t want to press the issue anymore. I wanted her to get some sleep, and we could start over tomorrow.
The next morning, I was sitting on the couch, trying to get some work done. I probably would’ve been more productive if I were sitting in my office, but I wanted to be comfortable.
I was stretching when Duke came running over and jumped on the couch next to me. I rubbed his head to say good morning. When I looked up, Kaia was walking from the hallway, yoga mat in hand and yoga pants clinging to her skin. A good morning indeed.
“Good morning. Time for yoga?” I asked, clearly knowing the answer.
She nodded. “Yes. Is that okay? I know you’re working, so I won’t bother you.”
I swept my hands around the room. “Please.” She smiled and set up in the corner. In my head, it sounded like I was begging for her to do yoga. If she wanted to relax by lifting her ass in the air, who was I to argue?
I tried not to watch her, I really did. I had so many emails to catchup on, and I needed to finish sizing out the project I was working on and get it sent over.
But Kaia was over there, bent over the mat, ass so perky and perfect, I couldn’t help it. I was only human, after all. I didn’t want to objectify my best friend, but ever since she’d moved in, she kept giving me things to look at and appreciate more than I normally would’ve.
I kept noticing little things that I used to brush off. The way her ass looked in any type of pants. The way her skin glistened after yoga or a run. The way all her sports bras were so thin you couldn’tnotstare at her nipples peeking through.
I almost ran into the wall after seeing her topless. I had never seen her sans bra before, and it did not disappoint. After saying goodnight, I’d tried to go to bed and not think about her shoulders or her collarbones or her pink nipples. My body had had other ideas, and I’d had no choice but to take care of the building ache between my thighs.
Masturbating had almost become a second language to me as I entered adulthood. Especially when I explored my sexuality and embraced the fact that I was a lesbian.
Since Kaia had moved in, I found myself doing it more frequently than before. Especially the night after our pickleball game. Watching the way she looked at me after admitting she saw me touching myself sent heat through me.
