Kenz: See you at 5??
She said it seemed like we both could use some stress relief, but I disagreed. With the things going on in her life, I understood how she could be under stress, but me?
I was perfectly fine. I had been relieving stress almost daily for the past two years, but she demanded I pound my frustration into something else.
Mackenzie and I were finally on good terms again. She came to me with the idea of proposing to Fallon, and although I had good reasons to question it, she convinced me that she had nothing but good intentions.
I was finally at a point where I didn’t want to choke her every time I saw her. I wouldn’t call us best friends by any definition of the word, but she was safe with me, as long as Fallon was happy.
After checking in and choosing what we wanted to smash—me an old box television, Mackenzie a few glass bottles—we took a seat in the lobby, watching the groups before us on the monitor take their turns in the rage room.
“Tell me, how’s the wedding planning going?” Mackenzie and Fallon were set to get married in a couple of months.
Fallon still had a long way to go to repair the damage that her ex had caused, but Mackenzie was there right behind her to help rebuild her shattered heart. She was great for Fallon, and I truly believed they were soulmates.
I was happy for my best friend. She deserved her happy ending and I was glad to have a part in it.
Mackenzie sighed contentedly, the corners of her lips tipping up. “It’s good. You know I love her, and I can’t wait to call her my wife. She’s been really getting into the whole thing and talking with her mom on the phone almost every day about everything from colors to dresses. As long as I get to marry her, I wouldn’t care if we went to city hall, but you and I both know Fallon deserves the wedding of her dreams. Speaking of the wedding, we have the cake tasting coming up in a few weeks, so don’t forget!”
“Of course. I am her maid of honor, you know. I would never forget!”
She snorted. “I don’t know, Dre. You’ve been kind of out of it lately. I was just making sure. Fallon will kick both of our asses if you miss it, and I’m not getting into trouble for you.”
“Relax,” I said, nudging her shoulder with mine. “You won’t be sleeping outside anytime soon, at least not because of me. Anyway, I haven’t been out of it. I’ll be there Kenzie, scout’s honor.” I jokingly saluted her.
She glared at me. “I know, I’m sorry. I think I’m more of a bridezilla than she is. I just want everything to be perfect for her. Both of our bridal parties will be at the tasting. It’s going to be a full house for a damn eating appointment!”
I could understand the horror written on Mackenzie’s face. Cake tasting and wine with the girls was definitely going to be memorable.
I laughed. “Yeah, I know. Let’s go, it’s our turn.” I angled my head toward the monitor that showed our names.
That was the most fun I’d had in a while, but I might have taken too much aggression out on that poor television.
At one point, I threw my bat and started screaming and cussing until I could feel the tears coming, and I had to leave, not stopping to speak to anyone.
It was safe to say Mackenzie’s idea was effective. I started channeling all of my anger from the past five years, from all the fights I’d had with Skylar.
I wish I regretted it. I wish I regretted not going to New York with her. But I didn’t, and I think that was part of the reason I was upset about our breakup, because I should have been devastated, but I wasn’t—at least, not about that.
I was upset because I missed having someone to take care of. I was angry because I missed her, and I missed being needed. I was Drea Voss. I shouldn’t need to depend on anyone for anything, yet a part of me did. My father would be disappointed in me, and I couldn’t blame him.
Then, as if I weren’t angry enough, a memory crossed my mind. My rage exploded, and that thought was just the icing on the cake. My whole childhood came rushing into that room.
I was angry with my parents for killing any hopes of happiness. I was angry at them for allowing me to think I was too weak for someone to love. What kind of person— Not right now. I wouldn’t give that thought any power.
I was walking out when Mackenzie stopped me. “Drea!”
I stopped and schooled my features before turning around. “I was wondering if you were going to catch up.”
She walked closer to me and spoke in a gentle voice. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I narrowed my eyes, hoping she couldn’t see how red they were becoming. I needed to get a hold of whatever was going on. “Talk about what, Kenzie? It’s a rage room. You're supposed to smash things. That’s kind of the whole point.”
“Yeah, but you aren’t supposed to throw your weapon at the wall and scream at it. Come and sit down with me.” She angled her head toward a bench just outside the building’s front door.
I sighed and relented, taking up the seat next to her.
“Okay, you are in a safe space. Put your walls down. What’s going on, Dre?”
