Ms. Keyes be damned, I believed him. He had seen through every mask I presented. Booker hadn’t shied away from the messier moments with me. He had been on this journey by my side… and yet… he stayed.
“You are the one who stopped me from killing Cypher.”
“It was something more than anger.” To save him, I had been willing to let Hellion take over. It’d have torn away a piece of my soul, but I’d do it again. When Nails threatened Janet, I was ready to cross the line to save the people I loved. “Rage. Unbridled rage. I can feel it now. It’s always there.”
When I removed the costume, tucking Hellion away in the closet, I imagined doing the same in my head. For a while, he waited patiently, satisfied with our nightly patrols. As of late, he refused to stay tucked away. The divide between me and my alter egos had eroded until even I didn’t know who I was.
“You’re why I saw his daughter?”
“I found your guilt,” he admitted. “Fear. Compassion.” He wiped his eyes before tears could form. “I used them to overwhelm your rage.” He let out a steadying breath. “I manipulated you.”
“Is that why you stayed?”
He nodded. “I felt the loneliness. The confusion. I couldn’t leave you alone.” He leaned forward, his hand half across the table. “I wanted to tell you… But I couldn’t face what I did. That’s why I left in the morning.”
I didn’t need to be an empath to see the guilt. There were no detective powers on display here. We were two broken men navigating a harsh reality. I could be angry that he used his powers on me, but knowing he found guiltand compassion while I tried to kill a man did the opposite. In the quiet of my mind, there were moments when I feared who I had become. At my worst, in the throes of rage, he found what I feared I had lost.
I took his hand.
“Do I say I forgive you or thank you?”
An eyebrow perked up. “Thank you?”
“You know this.” I held up my free hand and created a red square, and let the colors slowly shift. “Only a few people know about this secret.”
His head cocked to the side. The cube vanished, and I let the colors along my clothes shift to crimson until it looked like Hellion’s suit. At this distance, he might see the texture of my dress shirt, but he’d understand the meaning.
“You’re the only one who knows about this.”
His eyes widened. “You’re scared.” His eyes dropped. “Sorry. Occupational hazard.”
There was no point in hiding the truth. I wasn’t just scared. I experienced an identity crisis filled with terror whenever I thought about my worlds colliding. When I lost control, I didn’t want to see the disapproval. I didn’t want Janet’s eyes on me again. His fingers gripped mine, tightening until he pulled me from my thoughts.
“Drew, I’m sorry.”
He needed absolution. I might be one of the few people who understood uncontrolled emotions. How long had he hidden himself? How long had he learned to tuck away apart of himself for the sake of being accepted? For a moment, it was as if I stared into a mirror. Our secrets were laid bare, and now we had to sift through the rubble. The tension in his fingers didn’t relent.
“There’s nothing to forgive,” I said.
Every emotion, every revelation, I imagined it flowing down my arm. He needed tofeelmy intentions. I wanted him to know how much I wanted him to stay that night. There were no words to express how much I valued him. Instead, I wanted to speak a language only he could decipher.
His fingers loosened, and his jaw hung. He understood.
“She’s praying on our secrets.” Catherine had weaponized our insecurities. She believed we were broken beyond repair. Booker’s face had wet streaks where the tears vanished into his beard. We were broken.Verybroken. She thought we’d hold on to secrets until they crippled us. Instead… somebody saw my shattered pieces. He didn’t try to fix me. He accepted it.
She underestimated us. If it were just Booker or me on the case, maybe she’d have hidden away long enough to get away with her plan. I don’t think she understood the value of being seen.
“Keyes is behind it all.”
“Of course she is. She’s an emotional void.”
He had suspected her all along, but couldn’t explain why without outing himself. Yet again, our secrets hadcaused problems. “Funny you say that. She kept saying she was going to feast on me.”
His head turned to the side. Scooting to the end of his chair, I could tell something had triggered that analytical brain. “Not a void. A vampire.”
“Like bats and capes?”
He transformed as he went into work mode. If not for the tears, I’d say they were two different men. The man who walked into the room vanished under procedure and detective work. How fast could we have solved this problem if we hadn’t had to hide behind masks?
