A wave of panic hit my body as those words flipped repeatedly in my mind. I was no longer a person. I was anit. A thing. A creature. A monster.
Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Get rid of it.
Brian looked down at me and shook his head in disbelief. But he didn’t take any steps toward me. He didn’t take those six steps. He didn’t comfort me. Instead, he took a step backward and said, “Yeah, what a loser.”
My heart shattered.
I couldn’t take it anymore as everyone, including Brian, laughed and pointed at me. Some people began throwing soda cans my way, too, some empty, some full.
Ouch.
I looked over to Missy. There were tears in her eyes, andregret. But she didn’t stand up for me. She didn’t try to help me up. She just stayed in the distance, silently feeling bad, but not bad enough to help me. At one point, she was my best friend. My person. My forever. And she left me there alone.
I pulled myself to a standing position, my body aching, and I started toward the back door. I wished I could run. I wished my body didn’t go against what my mind wished it could do. If I could run, I would’ve sprinted out of that house, out of the city, out of the state, never looking back. But instead, I dragged myself away like the disgustingitthat I’d become.
Once I made it outside, I rushed to the curbside and collapsed. My hands were shaky as my mind tried to figure out what to do. I couldn’t call my dad. I’d sneaked out. He’d be so pissed. I couldn’t call Ash. I’d belittled him. I couldn’t call Mom. Oh, how I wished I could call Mom. She’d know what to say, what to do, how to make everything better. But she was dead. She was never coming back. All I wanted was to go to her. To be there with her and leave all the heaviness of the world behind. I wanted to disappear and be in my mother’s arms again.
But I couldn’t.
So I called the only person I could think of who would maybe help me out of the literal mess that I’d gotten myself into.
I called Ellie.
***
She didn’t show up alone. When the car pulled up, I was sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, curled in a ball. I wanted to vomit. I wanted to cry. I wanted to die. Oh, God, how I wanted all of this to be over.
Dad was the first to get out of the car, and Ellie rushed over beside him. Lorelai was sitting in the back of the car with a look of worry as she looked my way. I collapsed into Ellie’s arms as Dad marched straight to the front porch of the house party.
I felt disgusting. Used. Abused.
I could hear Dad cussing Colton out, and I could tell it was taking everything in his power to not hit a teenage kid. Colton was smug about Dad’s anger, which only made me feel more upset. He didn’t care that he hurt me. He didn’t care about my struggles. No one in that house did. Not even Brian.
Before I could wrap my head around what was going on, I saw Lorelai get out of the back of the car, and while Ellie tried to stop her, my sister seemed determined. She marched up to the porch where Dad was in a heated discussion with Colton, and my five-year-old sister proceeded to kick Colton straight in his balls.
I gasped.
Ellie did, too.
Colton fell over, holding his hands against his privates. “Oh my God!” he cried, whimpering in pain. “What the hell?!”
“Dude! Colton just got his ass kicked by a kid!” a guy hollered, and everyone started laughing their heads off.
Dad bent over Colton and said, “Like I said. Leave my daughter alone. Or my other daughter will do that again. Only harder.” He turned to Lorelai and me. “Come on, girls. Let’s go.”
We headed back to the car and all climbed inside. Before putting the car in drive, Dad pulled out his cell phone.
“What are you doing?” I nervously asked.
“I’m calling the police station,” he said matter-of-factly. When the call was picked up, Dad cleared his throat. “Hello? Hi. I’m calling to report a noise complaint at 1143 West ShoreStreet. There seems to be a party taking place, and I’m pretty sure there is underage drinking going on. Thank you.”
I smiled a little. “Thanks, Dad,” she whispered.
“Always, Karla,” he replied. He turned around to me, put a hand on my knee. “Always.”
“Why does it smell like farts in here?!” Lorelai asked.
“Let’s get home to shower,” Dad said. “But first, Lorelai, I’m very proud of you for standing up for your sister, but in the future, let’s not kick people. And we can’t call people those names, OK?”
