Mrs.Rivers narrowed her eyes and stared at the book cover. “That book?”
Ash nodded. “This book.”
Mrs.Rivers sighed, picking her novel back up. “Ash is correct, Karla.” She shrugged her shoulders. “That is bullshit.”
***
One afternoon, Ash met me outside of my last class of the day.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi there.” I narrowed my eyes. “What are you doing over here? Isn’t your last class on the other side of the building?”
“Yeah, but I figured I could race over and walk out with you to your car.”
“Oh.” I paused. “Why?”
“I thought we could hang out more this way.”
I didn’t want that, though. Well, I did. I just didn’t want him to walk with me because I was so painfully slow. I was embarrassed with how I moved. I didn’t need Ash to spend time with me when I was so awkward. It was already shocking that he wasn’t afraid to talk to me around other people. Even Brian got nervous about it, and he was my friend.
I grimaced.
“What?” he asked.
“You should go without me. I walk too slow.”
“That’s OK,” he said. “I’ll walk slow with you.”
***
Butterflies.
15Ash
On a Wednesday night, my parents were both home. That wasn’t normal, and I knew it wasn’t going to be good when they had me sit in the living room so they both could talk to me. Why did we have to sit in the living room and not the family room? I missed that fucking room so much.
I knew where the conversation was going the moment Maa sat beside me and placed a hand against my knee, but still, I wasn’t ready for it.
“Ashish, your father and I love you very much. It’s so important that you know that, OK?” she said with the softest tone to her voice. “And there is nothing in the world that we wouldn’t do for you.”
“You’re getting a divorce,” I spat out, not wanting them to tiptoe around the topic at hand. They glanced at each other, like they were shocked that I blurted out the words. “I saw the paperwork. I also overheard you both talking about it.”
Dad sighed as his brows knit together. “Your mother and I love each other so much, Ash—”
“That’s a lie,” I cut in.
“What? No. It’s not,” Dad countered.
“Yes, it is. People who love each other don’t get divorced.” I shook my head, working hard to not let my emotions leak from my eyes. “Is it my fault?”
“What? No,mera beta. Of course it’s not,” Maa soothed, rubbing her hand on my back in a circular motion like she usedto do when I was younger. “It’s just... life has been heavy for a while now.”
“Since Rian died,” I said.
“Yes, since Rian...” Maa’s words faded off, as if she couldn’t bring herself to say the word “died.” I understood. I choked on the word every time it left my mouth. “Sweetie. We just want to get better. And currently, the situation between your father and me isn’t getting better. We think it’s best for both of us to go our own ways.”
It was my fault.
