There’s a rush of blood to my head, and I feel uncomfortably weightless, like I jumped off something tall. But all those old wounds and years of silence weigh on me; I need more confirmation.
“So when you said he’s not good enough for me—”
“He’s not!” Greg scoffs. “It’s just a fact.”
I give him a playful little shove. “Are you jealous?”
He takes the deepest breath in, lets it out real slow. “Ruby,” he says like this is the most obvious thing. “Of course I’m jealous. I try to keep it low-key, but…there might not be enough adjectives in the world to describe how jealous I’ve been.”
I have to laugh, even though the butterflies I usually keep tamped down are starting to riot. “Greg, I have…a lot to think about right now. It’s—”
It’s going to be hard enough to act like nothing is different when I’m around Mark Winterson. I have to deal with one thing at a time.
“Can you hold that thought for two weeks?” I ask.
Greg stares at the ground for a long moment, but then he nods slowly. “Yeah, I mean…I’ve felt like this for a while. What’s another two weeks?” He reaches for my phone. “You have Signal?”
He adds me to the union chat and shows me how to mute notifications and set it so the messages disappear after twenty-four hours. “Check it when you’re not with him,” he says, jaw tense.
Then Greg stands, tugs me out of my swing, and wraps me in a hug, pressing me tight to him like we’re not going to see each other for a year. His hand cradles the back of my head, fingers in my hair.
“Two weeks,” I say again. “And then we’ll have a long talk.”
Greg huffs out a laugh, a small puff of air against my cheek. “Looking forward to it.”
We go to our separate cars and absurdly follow each other home, mine after his down the same sleeping streets, stopping at the same red lights. When I park in my driveway, he slows, window down, and gives me the saddest little wave.
At home, I open the Signal thread, and there are all these messages rolling in. My first real group chat.
Al:
talked to some guys from the mailroom finally. They’re in.
Sarah:
i had coffee with Lisa from Supplier Relations and she’s working on spreading the word on that team
Morgan:
and hey, look at us
can’t believe we have an undercover agent
Ruby:
LOL
i’ll do my best
And Sarah sends me a side message, individually:
Sarah:
thanks for joining us
here to talk if shit gets weird
and i’m sure it will
