“I’ve never thought of it that way,” he admits. “You’re not wrong. Although I’m guessing you didn’t call on audience members and ask them about touch receptors during your shows.”
“Only during VIP meet and greets.” Ramona takes another sip of her sparkling water. “What made you want to teach? You just loved psychology so much that you couldn’t fathom a world where you weren’t passing it on to the next generation of scholars?”
Nick relaxes into the plastic chair a bit, surprised by how easy it is to talk to her like this. Her sense of humor—he’d caught flashes of it during that first day in his office, but she’s even quicker than he thought. And there are few things he likes more than being kept on his toes.
“That, and I couldn’t think of another way to use my naturally captivating personality.”Fuck, he’s not flirting, is he? Because that would be wrong. Very deeply wrong. Maybe he’s a little too relaxed, and for a split second he forgot who they were. He clears his throat and readjusts in his chair, forcing himself to be slightly uncomfortable.There.
“I took an intro class my freshman year and fell in love with it,” he says, trying to sound as mechanically unflirtatious as possible. But he can’t help it—his voice begs to be animated when talking about something this precious to him. “I’d always liked science, and the pull of understanding human behavior was just too strong. I didn’t realize I was interested in academia until I lucked into a TA-ship as a senior. I was blown away by what the students had to say, and the joy when they finallygotsomething, and I thought, maybe I could do this.” He makes himself suck in a breath, aware he’s talking too quickly. “Obviously it’s not just teaching—there’s the research component too, and I’m up for tenure this year, which means I’d have a lot more freedom when it comes to research. And, you know, the extra job stability. If I get it, that is.”
Ramona has her chin propped on her fist, watching him likeshe’s genuinely interested in what he’s saying. And even though he’s in front of a classroom several hours a day, her attention drags a shiver up his spine. He’s used to students focusing on him with varying degrees of engagement—the dreaded glassy-eyed sleepiness and the rewarding lightbulb moments. Butthis. He hasn’t been on the receiving end of a gaze like this in a long, long time.
Maybe he forgot how beautiful she is back at the mall, if only because there were more pressing matters to deal with. But here in the golden-hour lighting, the sun teasing bronze from her dark hair and making her skin glow, she turns the whole parking lot glamorous. It makes him all too aware of how old this sweater-vest is, and he hopes there aren’t any wrinkles in his chinos. He gets it now, why the rest of the class dressed up for her.
He doesn’t know why part of him keeps expecting that she’s putting him on. Maybe the truth is that his initial impression of her was way off.
Because he’s havingfun.
“You’re not what I imagined a professor would be like when I started thinking about this whole school thing,” Ramona says.
“What, dedicated and passionate about their subject?”
A swift shake of her head as her eyes meet his for a heavy moment. The way this makes his heart race is radically inappropriate. “Hot.”
Nick’s ears ring loud as a fire alarm.
All casual, Ramona unwraps more of her burrito like she hasn’t said anything that’s knocked him out of orbit, and in her mind, maybe she hasn’t. Maybe this kind of nonchalant compliment is just the currency of her world—her former world.
When she glances back up and sees what must be the sheerpanic on his face, she laughs, though not meanly. “Calm down, professor. I’m not coming on to you or anything. Just stating a fact.”
Somehow, that doesn’t make it better.
“Well, sadly they took away the chili peppers on RateMyProfessor.com before I even started at UCLA, so if not for you, I’d never know.”
He returns to his burrito, biting right into a hidden jalapeño, which brings a rush of heat to his face as he fights against the stinging sensation in his eyes.Smooth.So incredibly smooth. Coughing, he reaches for his drink.
Ramona finds him attractive. No—hot, though this whole jalapeño debacle might cancel that out.
It’s the ego boost he didn’t know he needed.
“I lied,” he says, because if she can be honest, then he can, too. “I have heard your music. Before it came on in the car, that is. I took my niece to a show a few years back, at the Hollywood Bowl.”
An easy smile settles on her face. That one—that’s genuine. “The Anywhere but Here Tour? I loved that show. I was still into it back then, at least for the most part. It was just pure fun.”
“I could tell. You looked like you were having the time of your life onstage. You were…you were magnetic.” Surrendering this compliment feels a little like giving her the answers to a test she hasn’t taken yet, but he can’t help it.
“That was my job,” Ramona says simply.
But it didn’t seem like work.Magneticis only a shred of the truth, and even without any of the spotlights or costumes or backing band, he feels it here, too. Some external force, her natural aura—her three astrological signs, maybe—keeping himanchored to this parking lot. She must be aware of it, even attempting to move through the so-called real world.
He has a tremendous amount of respect for what she’s accomplished, can barely wrap his mind around what her life has looked like for the past decade. The number of people who adore her.
Why would you give that up?he wonders.
“You probably need to get back, huh,” she says, rolling up her foil and sticking it in the empty basket. “I can Uber to pick up my car tomorrow. Or I could even Uber home from here. You have a spouse or family waiting for you?”
Maybe it’s how open she’s been with him today, but he finds the truth hovering on the tip of his tongue. “I…got divorced earlier this year. Separated for longer, but all the official paperwork went through last month.” On instinct, he rubs at his ring finger. It’s still a little awkward, explaining it to people who don’t already know him, who weren’t there during the year everything fell apart. But he supposes he’s going to have to get used to it.
Ramona’s eyes widen as she holds a sympathetic hand to her heart. “Oh—shit. I’m sorry, I had no idea. In class you’re always so…upbeat.”
