“That one is pretty creepy,” I agree. “And yes, I am talking to myself. About how impossible it is to find a decent gift these days.”
Sawyer smiles. “Looking for something for Angel?”
I’m not surprised Sawyer knows who I’m shopping for. He was originally Alec’s friend—and former Green Beret teammate—but ever since he moved to Bliss earlier this year, we’ve all become friends. While he’s not a part of the team, he comes toall our dinners and get-togethers, and if anyone ever needs help, he’s quick to volunteer.
“I like keeping busy,”he always explains.“It’s better than the alternative.”
Given that the alternative is likely remembering the years he was held as a POW overseas and wrongly accused of being a traitor, I can understand why he’d prefer keeping busy.
“I am,” I answer. “Or trying to, at least. But there’s nothing good anywhere.”
Sawyer glances around the store. Judging from the crowd of people shopping, it’s pretty obvious I’m the only one who holds that opinion. “Well. I guess it depends on what you’re looking for,” he says tactfully. Which is better than what he could say, which is,You dope. There are tons of gifts here. Just buy one.
“It’s our first Christmas, though. I don’t want to give her a toaster. Even if it worked for my parents.”
Sawyer frowns in confusion. “A toaster?” Then he looks around the store again. “I don’t think they sell those here. Maybe the hardware store?”
“No, I know they don’t have toasters here. It was just an example.”
“An example?”
“Nevermind.” I shove my hands in my pockets. “I guess I need to keep looking. Anyway. What about you? Getting some Christmas shopping done?”
Sawyer picks up a glass bluebird and studies it. Then he sets it back down and pushes his hand through his hair. “Yeah. I need something for my parents. And I want to get Hazel something. Since she’s been such a help since I moved here, you know?”
“That makes sense.” As Sawyer picks up another bird—a robin, I think—I reach into my back pocket for my phone. There aren’t any new messages since the last time I checked before coming into the store. But I still tap the screen to be sure. Thelast one that came in was from Angel, telling me she missed me and can’t wait to see me.
Then there’s mine.
I miss you too. Can’t wait to see you tonight. Can’t stop thinking about you, period.
It’s true. If I thought Angel had a hold of me before, it was nothing compared to now—knowing how she feels when I’m inside her, the way she looks when she comes, the sexy little sounds she makes, how damn perfect she felt sleeping tucked up next to me…
Every second of it was perfect.
As I look at my unanswered text, uncertainty niggles at me. It’s not rational. But there’s still this tiny part of me that thinks,Maybe she’s changed her mind. Maybe it wasn’t as perfect as I thought.
But as soon as the idea forms, I stomp it out.
No. I’m not going there again. I’m not going to let my past fuck with me anymore.
I know Angel cares about me, just like I care about her.
Actually,careis a vast understatement. And it scares the shit out of me. Not enough to walk away or anything like that. But fear is definitely holding me back from telling Angel how I really feel.
Unless…
Is it too soon? It has to be. Angel wouldn’t want to move that fast. Not with Haley involved. And it’s smarter to take things slowly. Shit, Angel’s only just forgiven me for my fuckup at the Wonderland Walk. And I’m thinking about rings and getting down on one knee?
But still, I like the thought of it.
“You working at the mountain later?” Sawyer asks. “Or are you heading back to HQ?”
“Neither,” I reply. “I’m not back at the mountain until Tuesday. I might work from home on some training modules, but that’s about it. What are you up to the rest of the day?”
“I’m helping Knox out at a job site after lunch,” he replies. “Not that he needs me. But I appreciate that he brings me in sometimes. Gives me something to do.”
Knowing that Sawyer has been at loose ends, we’ve all asked him to help us out when we can. Knox has Sawyer help on his construction jobs. Enzo asks him to work shifts at his outdoor supply store. Alec will get Sawyer to test out his new security systems. Gage works on designing flight simulation programs, so that’s a little harder to ask for help with, but when he wants to do a test run of a new drone, he’ll ask Sawyer to come along. Working at Stowe, I can’t exactly bring Sawyer with me, but he’s helped with a number of projects at my house.
