28
LIZZY
Willa slept peacefullyin her pack n’ play in my office, her favorite blanket wrapped haphazardly around her and her favorite stuffy giraffe clutched in her arms. It was moments like this that I really fell hard for my little girl.
From the moment she was in my arms, I knew I had made the right choice in keeping her, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have moments where I struggled with being a single mom. That first week at home, I’d been an emotional wreck, jumping from tears to smiles in a matter of moments.
How so much beauty could come out of something so tragic, I still couldn’t wrap my head around.
But I didn’t regret it for a single second. Not when I had the most beautiful little girl here with me. Yes, it was hard. Yes, I still struggled to come to terms with my circumstances.
Running the bar and toting her everywhere I went wasn’t exactly a picnic, but I couldn’t afford a sitter, and I liked having her with me. But I knew this couldn’t last forever. Eventually, she would need a more rigid structure. So far, she’d been a trooper, falling asleep here at the bar and staying asleep as I carted her home at the late hours of the night.
But as she got older, I worried that the influence of the bar would be dangerous for her. My customers were in awe of her, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a rowdy crowd. This was no place for a kid, and I wanted to set the right example for her.
“You should take her home for the night,” JR said behind me from the doorway.
“I can’t ask you to close every night.”
Tearing my eyes from my daughter, I smiled at the man who had saved my sanity. He was gruff and a total asshole to pretty much everyone aside from Josie. But he had always been great with Willa and me. In fact, there were even a few times I caught him staring at my daughter with love in his eyes, though I would never point that out to him.
“It shouldn’t be too much longer before Josie has the baby. Are you ready?” I whispered as I shut the door behind me, following him into the bar.
“I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready. This wasn’t exactly the way I saw my life going.”
“But you’re happy, right?”
His eyes met mine, and a small smile touched the corner of his lips. He rarely smiled, but when he did, it was usually because of Josie. “I?—”
We both ducked as thepop, pop, popof gunfire, followed by shattering glass, echoed around the bar. JR grabbed my arm and dragged me back down the hall, flinging the door open to the office.
Panic consumed me as I looked at my baby girl, wiggling around in her sleep as the sounds threatened to wake her up.
“Get Willa and hide in the bathroom. Don’t come out until I knock on the door three times.”
I grasped his arm, panic flooding me as he turned to leave. “JR, you can’t go!”
He pulled a gun from the holster at his side and his face hardened. I rarely saw this side of him, but I knew fully what he intended.
“You can’t go,” I hissed. “What about Josie?”
For just a second, his eyes flashed with fear, but then he schooled his features and shoved me back inside. “Stay here and lock the door.”
He slammed the door shut, and just for a moment, I considered going after him. But his words rang through my mind and I quickly flipped the lock, then ran over to Willa, gently picking her up and tucking her against my body as she started to whimper.
“It’s okay, baby,” I whispered, grabbing her stuffy and blanket from the makeshift crib.
Her cries grew louder as the sound of gunfire filtered to the back of the bar. My heart hammered in my chest as I slammed the door to the bathroom, wishing I had a lock to give us one more solid barrier between us and whoever was out there.
Ducking down in the corner, I tucked Willa against my chest and pressed kisses to her forehead, trying to calm her.
“It’s okay, baby girl. Momma’s got you.”
Her cries grew louder, and I had no doubt that she could feel my fear. The tension in my body was joined by uncontrollable shaking and erratic breathing. I had to pull it together.
Closing my eyes, I breathed deep, trying to control the panic, but it was impossible. Whatever was happening out there wasn’t over yet, and the longer it went on, the more I feared for JR’s safety.
Josie.
