One thing I know for sure is I’d never leave my son to a life I didn’t think was worthy of me. I know everyone is going throughthis journey called life and messing up along the way, but that’s pretty fucked up.
“I can’t believe she would abandon her child like that. Abandon you,” I say softly.
He shrugs. “I’ve made my peace with it. I just hope one day, Leo will too. I know he misses his mother. He probably doesn’t understand why she’s not a part of his life. I’ve lied to him so far and told him she’s too far away to see him. One day, though, he’ll realize the truth. I just have to do my best to be enough for him.”
“You are enough, Matteo. That little boy adores you,” I assure him.
He exhales a soft breath and I can see gratitude in his expression as he looks at me. I’m glad I could lend a listening ear, allow him to talk about his doubts and his past.
“Your turn, princess.”
“Talking about my mom is always hard,” I murmur. “She died nearly thirteen years ago and I still feel her loss acutely today. It’s like an open wound that won’t close. My mom was a superhero, the same way you are to Leo. It felt like she could do anything. I still remember her bright smile and her eyes.Great Expectationswas one of her favorite books. She loved to read to me. Always said her greatest joy in life was watching my face light up as I read the words on the page of a book. She told me she loved me every morning when I woke up and every night before I went to bed. The last time she said it was the morning before her accident.”
My eyes grow a little bleary with tears. Matteo doesn’t say a word. His silence is comforting.
“Some idiot, bless his soul, ran a red light and crashed into her car. They both died. One stupid mistake, and my mom was gone forever. For a long time I blamed myself for it. She was coming home to see me. I told her to hurry up because I missed her. I know that’s not right anymore; she would have hated that Iblamed myself. But I just—I needed my mother, and she’s gone. I can’t hear her voice anymore. She can’t read to me anymore. She can’t tell me that she’s proud of how far I’ve come. She’s just gone.” My voice cracks, and finally Matteo moves.
He shifts forward, pulling me into his arms.
“She’s not gone, Lindsay. You feel her every day, and your love for her is a tether. Your grief is a sign of that love. Your mother could never be gone, sweetheart. She’ll always be there for you,” he states. “And I’m proud of you, for what it’s worth. Proud of all you’ve accomplished and all that you still have to achieve. You’ve forced me to shut down two accounts with all of your poking and in doing so saved the government millions.”
I sniff, laughing quietly. “You can be strangely sweet sometimes. It’s creepy.”
“Tell me about it,” he mutters, dropping his forehead against mine. I breathe him in for a couple of seconds, feeling the ache in my chest loosen. “Come on.”
He lies down on the bed, pulling me in with him. I rest my head on his chest and we just stay like that for a while.
I wish he would stop doing things like this. It’s only making it that much harder not to fall for him.
Eventually, the silence starts to grow irritating. I don’t want to dwell on our past in silence. An idea sparks in my head and I smile wickedly against his chest.
“Let’s play a game, Matteo,” I suggest, sitting up and crossing my legs. “I have a proposition.”
Matteo smirks, probably remembering the last time I propositioned him, “I’m listening.”
I reach for a coin I noticed on the bedside table.
“Heads or tails?” I ask, staring at him.
“Tails,” he replies smoothly. “What is this little game, Kitten?”
“Heads, fellatio. Tails, cunnilingus.”
“Hmm.” Matteo chuckles darkly. “If you win, you get to suck my cock. If I win, I get to eat your pussy?”
“Pretty much,” I say, desire rolling through me.
Technically it’s a win-win, but no harm in a little fun.
“Throw the coin, gorgeous.”
A thrill rolls through me at the lazy, half-lidded look in his eyes. He’d devour me without a second thought. And I fear I would let him.
With a flick of my thumb, I spin the quarter through the air and it clatters onto the bed. I peer over and laugh.
“On your feet, baby,” I say salaciously.
His expression darkens when I run my tongue over my lips, making sure to keep eye contact as I do. I’ve wanted to do this for so long. I want to taste him, to drive him just as wild as he drives me. I want to give him this, to make sure I’m forever burned into every inch of him.
