A guess that didn’t make sense.
“You don’t know her.She can’t pick men.She always ends up with the biggest jerks.Gaston is no different.He’s notsuitablefor her.”
Ben was probably the best man she would ever find.And for some reason, she crumpled him up and threw him away.
Ella fell silent at the sound of my voice.
My gaze drifted to her.She sat quietly.Her natural highlights shimmered golden in the light, like strands of sunlight themselves.The freckles across her face and neck added to her angelic look, making her seem effortlessly beautiful.Her blue eyes were warm, deep.She was silently holding space for my emotions.Despite the anger and sadness swirling inside me, I couldn’t help but be struck by how mesmerizing she looked.
“I’m tired of this.I think I’m going away,” I said, bringing both hands up to my face.
“Away?Where?”She sounded worried.
I turned to face her, held her gaze for a second, and said, disheartened, “I’ve been offered a scholarship.In music.All expenses paid.”
“Miles!”Her face lit up.“That’s amazing, congratulations!Of course you’re going away!You have to go.”
I gave her a small smile, touched with sadness.I’d wanted her to help me make the decision.But that wasn’t what I wanted to talk about at the moment.Or that wasn’t what I wanted to hear from her lips.
“But it’s really far away from you,” I said softly, and she didn’t react immediately to it.
The corners of her mouth fell slightly.She blinked, clearly not expecting me to say something like that.It was as if my words had caught her off guard, like it was too much, too earnest, too sentimental for her.
“It’s your future,” she said simply.As if the right choice was obvious.As if considering anything else was foolish.
“Alright.I get it,” I said sharply.
She would never tell me to stay.
I pictured a future with her close to me, her calmness, her quiet strength, always within reach.When she was near, everything felt more balanced, like I could breathe a little easier.It was as if the noise in my head quieted down when she was around.I wanted that.I wanted to be close to her, to keep that peace, that sense of stability.But I would never be a part of her future in the way I longed for.
Chapter 26
Ella
June 3rd, 1999
Thursday
I didn’t know what to say.
Maybe my reaction hadn’t been the best.
Miles had said something that lingered in the air.Sweet and honest.But it froze me.I felt the pressure to say something back.But I couldn’t.Nothing came out.
I didn’t understand how he could even be considering whether to take the scholarship or not.It was a great opportunity for his future.He couldn’t stay.He just couldn’t.
We sat there silently for a few more minutes.I wasn’t going to leave him alone.But I also didn’t want to interrupt the stillness and the quiet he needed.
I knew his mother had had many boyfriends, and that Miles never really liked any of them, including this man, Ben.Maybe he was right not to.Or maybe he would never like seeing his mom with any man who wasn’t his dad.That was common for a lot of children.
I waited for him to share more about the day, to guide me in understanding everything that had made him so angry.His green, unreadable eyes wouldn’t look at me.We had stopped the scholarship conversation.Different things were really upsetting him, and I felt I wasn’t getting to the heart of them.
But then his eyes were distracted by the bouquet of flowers sticking out of my tote bag, with a little tag that had“Prom?”written on it.
He glanced at me, then stared at the flowers again.
“You got asked to prom?”
