She deserves to be free.
Chapter 25
When I walk through the front doors of the mansion, there’s a weird energy. It’s the first time I’ve been here as a guest and not a prisoner.
“Your room is just as you left it,” Kole tells me, motioning to the staircase. “Enjoy the hot shower, and I’ll make us some dinner.”
It’s been weeks since I’ve had a proper shower, so no part of me is going to fight him on that. As I head up the stairs, it feels like I’m taking in the house for the first time. Before, I only saw closed doors and blocked exits, but now there’s almost a warmth to it. It’s the exact same, but feels completely different.
When I reach the third floor, I’m tempted to peep into the rooms down the hall, but what would it matter? I’m not here to stay, and if I stick to my new plan, I’ll be far away from Thane and all of this soon enough.
The moment I step into my old room, I realize Kole was right. It’s just how I left it, only when I entered just now, a wave of comfort washed over me. There’s an odd feeling ofbelonging. It’s a feeling I’ve never experienced in any home, so I can’t imagine why I would feel it here.
I make my way over to one of the windows and take in the snow-covered rose bushes. Up here in the mountains, the snow is thick but beautiful. It makes the garden look even more enchanting, and I didn’t think that was possible. As I appreciate the view, I notice there are no guards patrolling. I suppose the vampires have taken refuge while the werewolves run wild. Though the moon hasn’t even begun to eclipse, I guess it’s already started to affect the wolves. I can only imagine what they’ll be like during the peak of it.
I shake off the thought, not wanting to imagine all of the carnage to come tonight and head for the dresser. I take out a pair of maroon leggings and an oversized cream sweater that is made to hang off one shoulder. Everything I need is still in the shower and bathroom drawers, making me think that Thane wasn’t serious about letting me go. Why else would he keep everything here? It’s like he’s been waiting for me to return, and now that I’m here, I’m getting the sinking feeling he won’t let me go a second time.
I slip into the hot water, letting it quiet the growing panic. I really have missed this. Even though I’ve claimed one of the abandoned homes for myself, it doesn’t have any running water, and without access to heat, it feels more like a cold shell than a home—not that I would ever admit that to Kole.
When I make it down to the dining room, my mouth begins to water just from the smell. There are already two places set at the ridiculously long table, except unlike when I eat with Thane, the plates have been positioned at only one end of the table.
“Hungry?” I turn around to find Kole standing behind me, holding two glasses of red wine. “Peace offering?” he says, handing one to me.
I release a reluctant sigh before taking it. “I suppose I do like you better after I’ve had something to drink.”
He walks over and pulls out my seat at the head of the table. “No, you just allow yourself to admit it after you’ve had something to drink.”
I roll my eyes and sit down. “Whatever you gotta tell yourself.”
“Always so difficult,” he says with the shake of his head, though there’s a smile curving on his lips. When I don’t respond, his smile falls away. “I’m sorry I didn’t come see you.”
My head snaps up. People don’t often apologize to me, and I can hear the overwhelming sincerity in his voice.
“I guess I can understand why you didn’t,” I admit to both him and myself.
He takes his seat to the right of mine and motions for someone to bring out the food. “I know I didn’t come knocking on your door, but I did keep tabs on you.” He looks at me like he’s trying to gauge my response to that, but my expression remains unreadable while I wait for him to continue. “At first, I told myself it was because I wanted to make sure you were safe, but as the weeks passed, I realized I was doing it more for myself than for you.”
I hardly notice the food in front of me as I look at Kole, taking in the words he’s saying.
“I don’t understand.”
“I know you don’t,” he agrees with a heavy sigh. He motions to the food set out in front of us. “You should eat.”
“That’s it? That’s all you’re going to say about that?”
He places one of the filets on my plate, not bothering to look at me. “It doesn’t matter what I say. You never believe me anyway.”
A well of guilt forms in my stomach hearing him say that. I know I’ve been unfair to him, making him pay the price for the actions of others.
Fuck, I sound like Thane.
“I’m just not ready.” I try to swallow back the hurt in my voice, but I know he hears it.
Kole scoots his chair out, and I wonder if he’s going to walk away, tired of fighting this uphill battle with me. I wouldn’t blame him if he did. He’s been doing everything he can to earn my trust, but I just can’t seem to let my guard down. At least not fully.
Instead of getting up to leave, he moves his chair closer to me and reaches for my hand. There’s a flutter in my stomach the moment his skin touches mine, almost like it’s a sign from the universe, reminding me how dangerous it is to let people in.
“You have your reasons for not trusting people,” he starts while looking at me so intensely it feels like he can see right into my soul. “I know you’ve been hurt a hundred times over, and being taken as a prisoner was never going to be a good foundation for trust.” His thumb traces circles over my knuckles in a soothing motion. “Take however long you need. It won’t stop me from caring about you, and hopefully, in time, you’ll allow yourself to believe it.”
