I reach up, pressing my palm to the side of his face. “Because, when I inevitably ruin this thing between us, I need you to understand why.”
“Then don’t,” he practically pleads, as fear creeps into those electrifying eyes of his. I drop my hand, but he catches it, placing it over his heart. “Don’t give up on this.”
“I don’t want to, but the universe has already chosen my path.” I tug my hand away, brushing my fingertips over the curve of my neck where the mark lives as a permanent reminder that my future is not my own. “If anything happened to you because of me, I’d never forgive myself.” Kole reaches for me, but I step back. “Don’t. My will is only so strong, and if you pull me into your arms again, I might never find the strength to leave them.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” he challenges, the desperation on his face making my soul ache.
I start retreating toward my room, but he follows closely as if the world might crumble if there’s more than two feet of space between us.
“You should go.” The words are barely audible when I choke on the lump in my throat.
“Is that what you want?” Kole asks, stopping just outside of my room.
“What I want doesn’t matter.” I grab the door, digging my nails into the wood as I fight against every muscle in my body telling me not to close it. “It never has, and it never will.”
I shut the door, leaning my forehead against it as my legs shake beneath me. Just like before, I can feel him lingering on the other side, and some deep part of my wounded soul knows he’s not going to leave this time. Even if I begged, I know he wouldn’t listen, because this man is determined to heal all of my broken parts until I’m whole again, and as I cling to the door separating us, I find myself silently praying that he does just that.
Kole
I shouldn’t even be entertaining the idea of her and I being Love Locked. She’s a human. I’m a vampire. That shouldn’t even be possible, but if I can consider the impossible for Thane, then why not for myself? After being on this earth for over 300 years, no one has ever made me feel the way she does. Not even close.
It’s like she’s a piece of me. Cut from my own soul. Like the invisible pull between us is just a loose thread of my soul that has somehow become intertwined with hers.
It’s deeper than just a physical attraction. I see her.
Not just her stubbornness. Or her fiery temper. Or even the broken parts of her. I see the way she lights up when she looks at the moon. The way she hugs her pillow when her thoughts seem to run away. The way she appreciates simple human experiences because she never got them growing up. I see the way she laughs more when Sienna is around and the way she moans after the first bite of every meal. I see the way books bring her comfort. The way she digs her fingernails into her palms to slow her heart rate. The way she chews on the inside of her cheek when we play chess. I see the way her smile falls even when she’s happy, like she doesn’t think she deserves it. I see the conflict in her eyes when Thane does something decent. And I see the way she looks to me when she needs to feel safe.
I know that Thane marked her, and I’ve considered the possibility that the reason their bond is so strong is because it’s more than just the bond of the bite, but every moment I spend with her, it feels like I’m getting back a part of me that has been lost.The heavens above have enjoyed toying with me, but would they really be so cruel as to fate me to the girl my brother marked?
I’d like to think no, but that would mean she’s not my fated, and I don’t know which of those options is worse.
Chapter 43
Waking up this morning, it feels like there’s a chasm in the center of my heart. I probably should’ve told Kole goodnight and never should’ve asked him to stay, but I needed this. Even if it hurt. Even if it made me realize how completely fucked this whole situation is, I needed to hear that he feels as strongly for me as I feel for him. At least this way, there’s no more wondering.
All of the cards are on the table now, and the only thing Kole and I can do is ignore our feelings. Push them down and bury them until we forget that they even exist. It feels like an impossible task, but what choice do we have? I can’t risk anything happening to Kole if Thane were to find out, so I’ll just have to keep reminding myself that his life is at stake.
I reach for my phone, hoping to find a text from Sienna saying that she’s on her way over, but instead my heart nearly bolts from my ribcage at the sight of Thane’s name.
Thane:
How’s Seattle?
That’s it. A simple and completely reasonable text that I shouldn’t read into, and yet I can’t help myself. Thane’s never texted me before, and he definitely doesn’t seem like the type to check in. Especially not after only a day.
Me:
It’s better than the last time I was here.
Thane:
Maybe next month you’ll allow me to take you,
so I can make up for it.
My pulse begins to race as I reread the text over and over again. The bond had been quiet since I left, but now I feel it breathing down my neck. Demanding my attention once again.
Me:
