Of course he knows. Why would Kole hide something like that from him? And why would Thane mind? I doubt he even knows there’s a connection between Kole and me. If he did know, he’d probably lose his fucking mind. Not only because of the possessiveness of the bond, but because there are complicated feelings when it comes to him and his brother. If Thane felt for even a moment that they were being pitted against one another, all hell would break loose. After what happened between Thane and me last night, it feels even more wrong to feel the way I do, but I can’t help it.
“Right. Of course.” There’s an awkward pause as I try to figure out how to salvage my reaction. “Well, I want to go check it out!” My enthusiasm is real, but it comes out sounding a bit mocking.
Kole looks disappointed, but he reaches out his hand to escort me back to the bench, where he begins unlacing my skates without a word.
“Wait.” I exhale a breath, pulling my foot away so he’ll look up at me. “I didn’t go about this the right way. I just… I’m really happy to be up here with you, and I didn’t want a pissed off Thane ruining it.”
The tension in his shoulders seems to ease, and his face slightly softens. “I understand, Grey. You and him are a package deal now.”
“I wish we weren’t,” I sigh.
“Yeah, I wish you weren’t either.”
Silence hangs in the air while he continues working on my skates. There’s so much I want to say, but I can’t seem to find the words. Or maybe I can, and I just know it’s better not to go there. At least this way, I can continue to pretend there isn’t some invisible string winding itself around the two of us.
Feeling this connection is one thing, but if I admit it, there’s no going back. Even if I knew he felt the same way, it wouldn’t matter. He’s a vampire. I’m a human. He’s Thane’s brother, and I’m bound by the mark. The only thing we could ever be is friends, because there’s no world in which Thane would accept us being anything more.
My fate has already been written, and it’s got a hybrid Alpha attached to it.
Kole
I saw it. It was only for a short moment, but I saw that look. The look that says she feels this thing between us too. I thought my heart was going to burst from my chest, but before it could, that glimmer in her eyes faded. She pushed our connection aside, consumed by her concern over what Thane might do if he knew I’d brought her up here. No matter what, it always comes back to Thane.
Why did I even think bringing her up here would be a good idea? Being alone with her will only make things worse. I had been holding onto hope. Waiting to see any sign that she might feel something for me too. Only now that I have, what does it matter? It doesn’t change the fact that she’s bound to Thane.
Their connection will always come first, and there’s no competing with that. Besides, if Thane found out I had feelings for her, he’d probably rip my heart out without a second thought. Me being his brother only makes things worse. After everything we’ve been through, we vowed to never go against one another again. He would see my feelings for her as a betrayal. In his eyes, she belongs to him. And maybe she does.
Neither of us have talked about it, but I know it’s crossed both of our minds. Even Sophia said the bonded vampires and humans she’s come across were nothing like this. If the impossible happened and she really is fated to Thane, then even just the idea that I would feel something for her would be a betrayal.
Still, there’s a small voice in the back of my head telling me that if she were truly fated to him, this connection between us wouldn’t exist. Maybe before, I could convince myself that it wasone-sided. That I was delusional, and the connection only existed in my head. But not after today. My heart knows she feels it too. Unfortunately, knowing that doesn’t change anything.
Marked? Fated? Either way you cut it, she’s off limits. My only choice now is to bury these feelings and forget they ever existed.
Chapter 38
The log cabin is the epitome of cozy. The vaulted, dark cherry wood ceiling makes it feel bigger than it looks from the outside, and there’s a subtle scent of cinnamon that washes over me the moment I walked through the door. Kole darts around, lighting the fireplace and candles while I take in the spacious living room decorated with fur rugs and dark brown furniture, draped with plaid blankets that I’m sure I’ll be wrapping myself up in later.
Before we settle in for the night, Kole gives me a quick tour, telling me that he’ll take the couch so that I can have the bedroom, and for some reason, my heart sinks when I hear that. I do my best to shake it off and perch myself on one of the barstools, watching him work his magic while he starts to cook up a pot of chili.
“I still can’t believe you built this.” I look around at all the details, completely amazed that he put this entire place together.
“It’s because I’m pretty.” He stops cutting the onions and looks up at me, pretending to toss his hair back.
“Honestly… I think it might be,” I agree with a breath of laughter.
“Well, don’t be fooled by this work of art.” He waves his hand in front of his face. “I still know how to get down and dirty.”
“You say that, but I can’t imagine it.”
“Well, maybe if you’re nice to me, I’ll build you a house of your own someday.” When I don’t say anything, Kole looks back over at me. “Did I say something wrong?”
I shake my head. “No. Not at all. I just…”
He stops cooking and walks over, turning me around on the barstool to face him.
“Talk to me.” He tucks my hair behind my ear before dropping his hand to my knee, awakening every cell in my body.
“It’s nothing,” I say, looking down at my hands in my lap.
