“It depends on the day, the weather. Usually denim,” I manage. I close my eyes and take a moment to inhale and exhale. “Sometimes graphite. Even porpoise.”
“I know how much you adore the water,” he says softly. “It brings you peace.”
“Yes,” I agree. “Especially after a storm. When leftover waves crash in? The water is a deep steel blue.”
“What color do you see when you think about me?”
I roll my head to look at him. “I think you know the answer to that.”
As he strokes the glorious cerulean that I’ve fallen in love with over my upper thigh and down to my calves, he finally kisses me.
“What color do you see when we make love?”
“Apricot.”
Danny undoes the top of my suit and pushes it away. His hand moves to my nipples, playing as he paints. “What else? What do you see when we’re really heated? When you’re gasping?”
It’s so hard to think right now. “I don’t know.”
“Focus,” he says.
“Help me. Remind me.” I push his hand down.
“Are you sure you want this right now?” he whispers gently.
“Beyond sure.”
When his hand is over the bottom of my bikini, moving ever so slowly, he again asks, “What colors do you see when we’re really heated? When you’re about to grab on to me and scream? When I’m losing my mind because of how phenomenal you feel and I’m trying to last as long as I can for you?”
I run a hand through my hair and answer, “Tiger orange…and a flushed…hot pink…orchid. Danny, please don’t stop.”
And he doesn’t until I see them.
“Those are not the colors of a nobody,” he whispers as I recover. “And we’ve barely scratched the surface.”
Still in a haze, I can only breathe out my reply. “But they’re only going to wash away.”
“Maybe you need a better reminder. A more permanent one.” He moves away for a beat. I turn my head and see him tearing off a long sheet of parchment from the roll he used at Wakefest. “Put your arms down by your sides.”
The paper floats above me for a second before he settles it over my body, and inch by inch, he presses down, capturing every color we’ve talked about, every color that he’s tried to show me is part of who I am.
Danny stands and holds up the imprint of myself—of our night—letting the glow of the moon shine through. “Do you finally see how beautiful you are?” He sets down the paper, grabs a container, and then scoops me up in his arms. “You probably won’t tonight. But I hope you will.”
I am nearly naked and so exposed, yet all I can do is lose myself in this boy and believe in him the way he believes in me.
Maybe he’s right. Maybe I am not nothing.
As he carries me to the dock, the one he redid and made me fall in love with all over again, I shiver. Maybe from the cold, maybe from something else. He sets me down and drops my legs into the water.
“Soon, it’s going to be too cold to swim at night or even during the day, so we have to appreciate it while we can.” He hops into the water, stands between my legs, and then opens the small tub he brought with him. “Coconut oil. I’m going to wash off tonight’s paint because you’ll kill me tomorrow if I don’t.”
“I’d only kill you if you didn’t touch me again.”
“Oh, so someone’s smiling again.”
“A little bit,” I admit.
“Be happy that I only used paint and not what I use on everybody else. Black liquid eyeliner is a bitch to get off. You’d have been sore for days.”
