My heart is overwhelmed.
I take Sabin’s hand with my left and squeeze Chris’s with my right. “Of course we circled back to each other. This is where we all belong.”
Two days later, the three of us are on a beach in Del Mar. Chris and I are watching Sabin on Mia. This is one of the few beaches in the San Diego area where riding horses is allowed. The call I made to Pearce went better than I could have hoped, and it was his idea to bring us all here.
Sabin is at the upper edge of the shore, right now as far from the water as he can be. He looks moderately anxious, but I can see him trying to ride with confidence.
Pearce is standing with Chris and me. He crosses his arms and watches, much more at ease than Chris and I are right now. I feel as though a million things hinge on this happening, and I wasn’t convinced it was a smart idea when Pearce had suggested it. However, it seemed to be a risk worth taking.
“He’s got one chance to get her into the water,” he explains. “If he’s not careful, if he pushes too much or too fast, he’ll miss the window, and she might never get over her fear.”
“Can he do it?” I ask.
“Sure.” Pearce squints and studies Sabin for a minute. “If anyone can, it’s him. And if it doesn’t work out, that’ll be all right, too.”
Sabin and Mia walk slowly and get closer to us.
“Start inching her down. If she gets nervous, let her back off a little, but keep encouraging her. She’s got fear, sure, but she’s smart, and if she can figure out how to get out of this, she will. It’s your job to be the kind but firm parent, Sabin. Let her see it will all be okay,” Pearce instructs.
Sabin nods and then glances at Chris and me.
“You look great, Sabin,” Chris says. “Right at home.”
Mia turns a bit and moves a few feet closer to the water, and Sabin praises her and strokes her mane. “That’s my good girl. Just water. It’s nothing to be afraid of. And I’m right here. You’re doing really good.”
Pearce lifts up and down on his toes a few times. I think he’s more anxious about Sabin finding this success than he’s letting on.
He smiles though and then takes a seat in the sand. “Sit down. This might take a while.”
Chris and I get comfortable, and I take in the view. The sight of Sabin working with Mia, encouraging her to overcome her fears, is beautiful. The uncharacteristic clouds above lend a dark filtered light, but that just allows Sabin to shine more.
Chris and I stay quiet while Pearce periodically calls out encouragement or instruction. Mia moves from side to side, crossing her legs over one another, as she tries to move back, almost dancing in place, but with every minute that passes, Sabin gets her a bit closer to the lapping shore.
When she stops walking for a second, Pearce puts a hand to his mouth. “Keep talking to her. Let her know you’re relaxed. I can see you tensing up, so knock that off. You’ve got this, Sabin. You’ve got this. Show her how it’s done.”
From my spot on the beach, I can see Sabin take a big breath and regroup. Although I can’t make out what he’s saying now, his gravelly voice carries up to me, and his tone and pace are calm, soothing. Mia responds well, and I grab Chris’s hand when she turns to face the water. Without being able to hear, I know what Sabin is saying. I just know it.
“Reach for me. I won’t let you drown. I’m right here.”
“Now’s the time,” Pearce says as he leans back on his arms. “Let her face her fear. Stay with her, and make her understand she’s in good hands. Not too fast. Talk her through it. Dig deep, Sabin, and pass on that confident energy. Right from your core. Give that to her.”
Sabin is honed in on Mia now, no longer turning back to check in with Pearce, and he leans over, talking right into her ear while stroking her coat. She takes a few steps, pauses for a moment, and then takes a few more.
“Just about there,” Chris whispers.
I’m pretty sure that I stop breathing when Mia’s front hooves are a foot from the water. She looks off to the side, and then she faces the ocean again. She steps forward and wets her feet.
“Hot damn!” Pearce says happily.
Sabin throws a fist in the air, but then he immediately brings it back down and regains his composure as he guides her to walk parallel to the shore until they’re just casually strolling through a few inches of water.
This time, I am watching a boy on the beach save himself, and it’s a glorious feeling.
“Look at him.” Pearce is nodding with approval. “He’s showing her it’s just like any other walk now. Nothing to get worked up about.” He smiles broadly. “Smart, smart boy.”
For the next fifteen minutes, Sabin and Mia walk back and forth along the shore. Their motion is fluid, and the aura they both give off is one of pure connection and joy. Sabin’s determination and skill today assure me that he is ready to work on himself, that he has the capability to power through the dark and find light.
“This is a sight for sore eyes,” Chris says.
