With deep regret and so much love,
Mom
I drop the letter to my lap and wipe at my eyes.“I’m angry.”I’m so damn angry.She interfered with my life.She kept me from the man I love for far too many years.If she were here, I’d— Fuck, tears keep falling, and I have to swallow past the golf-ball-sized lump in the back of my throat.I wish she were here so I could yell at her.I’m pissed at her and myself.I’m angry at my dead mother for trying to control my life.She’s right—I would have followed him, but just for a few years until we could come back to Magnolia Ridge.She had no right to take him from me.
Her deception cuts deeper than anything ever has, even Copeland’s leaving.
“I know.”
“I want to hate her.”
“I know that, too.”
“I don’t, though, and I don’t know how I feel about that.She broke us apart, Cope.All this time, so many years we lost, and it was my mom.”My voice quivers.
His hand rests on my cheek, and he leans in close, pressing his lips to mine that are soaked in tears.“We can’t change the past.We can only look toward the future.I’m mad at her, too, Ells, but we’re here together now.We’re getting married and starting our own family, and that’s what we need to focus on.She’s not here to ask her, and it’s not fair to hate her for something that she obviously felt remorse over.”
“How can you forgive her so easily?”I ask, my voice cracking.She took so many years from us.I don’t understand why he’s not raging with anger like I am.My insides feel like a knotted mess.Those letters, his words to me, were all hidden in my home, and I didn’t even know.
“Because she loved you.I know what that’s like.If I were faced with you leaving, and I couldn’t go with you, I’m not sure I wouldn’t do something similar to keep you with me.Is that wrong?Yes.Do I care?No, not as much as I should.I’m not me, the real me, without you, and I forgive her, because we’re still living the life we had planned.We took a detour, but it’s ours for the taking, and nothing and no one will take that away from us this time.This time, I’m fighting.For you, for me, and for our baby.”
“I love you,” I say, tears racing down my cheeks.
“I love you, too.”He kisses me softly before moving to kiss my belly.“I love you, too, little one.”
Copeland is my anchor.He’s here, grounding me, helping me push through the emotions swirling inside me.He’s right, though.I need to push the anger aside and be in the moment with him.It might be almost two decades too late, but just as we’d always planned, we’re each other’s future, and like Copeland, I’m not letting go so easily this time.I was young and heartbroken; I couldn’t see the forest for the trees, but now, I can.
I smile through my tears.He’s right.It’s delayed, but we’re getting our happily ever after, and this time, he’s not the only one ready to fight for our future.
Twenty
Copeland
Today’s my first week back to work at the family business, and I already need a few hours off.Chandler looked at me funny when I told him I had something come up this afternoon and wouldn’t be able to work.He made sure it had nothing to do with our mom and her health and just nodded with a grin.
I’m pretty sure he knows that whatever I have going on today involves Ellison.He couldn’t possibly guess that we’re going to a doctor’s appointment for her and the baby.Our first one.We took the tests, but we need it confirmed by a medical professional.I read that she needs vitamins, and I really just need someone qualified to tell me that my girl and my kid are both healthy and doing okay.
And if they’re not, explain how I fix it.Life is finally giving us a break, giving us the future we’ve always planned, and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to fight every single fucking day to keep it that way.I don’t care what we’re faced with.I’m ready to protect, to defend, and to love that woman and our baby, and any future kids we might be blessed with, until I take my final breath.
Dramatic, maybe, but it’s me, and that’s how fucking much I love my wife.Okay, she’s not my wife yet, but the moment she said yes, that’s what she became to me, and I’ll never think of her any other way.
“I’m heading out,” I tell Chandler.
He nods.“I’m headed over to Magnolia Estates to shoe the trail horses,” he tells me.
“I’m headed that way, too,” I tell him.I try not to smile, but I can’t help it.
“Little brother, are you skipping out of work your first official week back to hang out with your girl?”
“The answer to that will always be yes.”I chuckle.I go on to clarify, “We have plans, and it was a last-minute thing that couldn’t be changed.I’m sorry to drop it on you last minute.I can stop by and help finish up when I get back.”
“Nah, it’s fine.The schedule is still light for just me.It’s been a while since you’ve done farrier work.I wanted to make sure we eased you back into it.”
“I’ve been helping out and doing just fine,” I remind him.
He nods.“I know, but I thought with Mom’s appointments and whatnot—you’ve been doing the majority of that—I could help out, and if we keep the schedule light, either one of us could handle the load with that.”
“Makes sense.I’ll call you when Ells and I get back, and if you’re still there, I’ll come help you finish up.Get you home to that wife and kids of yours a little earlier,” I tell him.
