“I know, baby.I’m scared, too.”
Her eyes widen.“You are?”
I nod.“I’m scared as hell that I’m going to lose you again.I’m afraid that loving you won’t be enough to move past the pain and the mistakes.I’m fucking terrified of waking up in a world where you’re not next to me.”I drop my hands from her face and grip her hips, holding her in place, as if she might disappear into the night.
“How is it possible that it feels like no time has passed?”she asks.She leans down, resting her cheek against my chest.“Your arms feel the same, your scent, it’s all as familiar as breathing.”
“It’s because your soul is tethered to mine, Ells.Not many can say they met the love of their life as a kid.”
“We had so many plans,” she says, fisting my shirt, as if she, too, needs reassurance I’m not going anywhere.”
“We did,” I agree.“Do you still want those things?Husband, house, kids, everything we talked about?”I hold my breath, worried she’s going to say she does, just not with me.
“Yeah,” she murmurs.“I still want those things.Do you?”She lifts her head to peer up at me.
Pushing the hair out of her eyes, I make sure that I have her attention when I tell her, “I only want them with you.It wasourdream, Ells, and I only want to live it with you.”
More tears swim in those baby blues, but they don’t fall.Instead, she offers me a watery smile and places her head back on my chest.
I wrap my arms around her, holding her tightly, and I close my eyes, relishing the feel of her.I meant what I said.I’m terrified that something will pull us apart, but this time, I’m geared up and ready for a fight.
Seventeen
Ellison
The rain thrashes against the windows, and I curl deeper under the blanket I’m cocooned in on the couch.Courtlynn and Leighton both left for the day.They’re going to Nashville for the night with their best friends.It’s only about an hour’s drive, and it’s a good time.Lucky for them, they have concert tickets to see Luke Combs, so they’ll be inside most of the night.It’s supposed to rain like this for the next several hours.
Kinzie’s out of town until Monday.She’s at a vet clinic conference in Cincinnati.So, I’m here all alone.Not that I mind.I’ve been exhausted this week, so a night in, curled up on the couch resting, is exactly what I need.
My phone rings, and I have to wrestle with the covers to free my arms so I can reach it.I catch Copeland’s name before I answer.“Hello.”
“I miss you.”
I smile.Copeland never misses an opportunity to tell me what he’s feeling.His open communication has helped me limp past my fear that this won't work out.It’s been six weeks since the night we hashed out our past and slept together.Six weeks since he told me that he was going to fight for us, and he’s lived by those words.We’ve been on countless dates, and he’s constantly dropping by my office with flowers or snacks, even just for a quick kiss because he was thinking of me.
It’s been six weeks of bliss, and with each day that passes, my worry fades a little more.Copeland has backed up his words with actions, and while six weeks isn’t very long, I know with absolute certainty that this time, we’re going to work.We’ve both learned from the mistakes of our past, and we both want the same thing.
A life with each other.
That’s all I’ve ever wanted, and in my soul, I know that Copeland James is my future, just like I’d always hoped he would be.
“I miss you, too,” I tell him, smiling like a lovesick fool.
“I’m on my way over.Mom is having a sleepover with Colter and Maeve at Chandler’s tonight.”
“I love that.How is she feeling today?”
“Good.Stronger than the last few days.She has chemo again next week, and she wants to spend some time with the kids while she has energy stored up.”
“That makes sense.”
“Do you need anything?I can run to town before I come over.”
“Just you.”
“Ells,” he says, his voice cracking.“You have me, babe.All of me.”
“I know.I’m curled up on the couch, under the blanket, but something is missing.”
