Me: No.
I pause and decide to just go for it.We have to start talking, something younger me didn’t understand, if we are ever going to work through this.
Me: I was afraid that if I stayed in my room at the Manor, I’d end up on your front porch, beating down the door to see you.
Ellison: I’m okay.He barely touched me.
Me: I know.I never would have let him hurt you, Ells.
Me: I’d be knocking down your door because being close to you tonight, even for a handful of minutes, is the most alive I’ve felt since the day I left for boot camp.
Ellison: You left me.
Me: I was always coming back.
Ellison: Yet, you never did.Not for me, anyway.
I don’t have to hear her voice to hear the hurt, and it guts me.I want to open it all up.Right here.Right now.However, I need to be in her presence when we do.I need her to see my face and see my pain of missing her all these years.I have regrets, so many regrets, but she didn’t respond to my letters, so it’s not all my fault.
Me: Can we talk?
Me: In person.
Ellison: I don’t know that there’s anything to say.
Me: I have so much I want to say to you, Ells.
Me: Please.
I feel like an hour has passed when it’s maybe a minute at most before her reply comes through.
Ellison: When?
Me: You tell me when.
Me: I just want some time for us to talk.
Me: I miss you, Ells.
Ellison: We have new walking trails at the Manor.We can maybe take a walk tomorrow afternoon.
Me: I think we need a place where we can be alone for this.
It feels like hours before she finally replies again.
Ellison: We have a small meeting room at the Manor that guests can reserve.I’ll check the schedule tomorrow and let you know.
Me: Thank you.I don’t care when.You name the time, and I’ll be there.
Ellison: Goodnight, Copeland.
Me: Goodnight, Ells.
Locking my phone screen, I place it back on the end table.I don’t have a charger with me, so that’s the first order of business in the morning.I don’t want to miss her call.I should text Kip and let him know I took his advice, but I think I’ll wait.Maybe the next time we talk, it will be me telling him that I got my girl back.
A man can only hope.
Closing my eyes, I try to sleep, but I’m too excited.Finally, after all these years, we’re going to talk.I don’t know what to expect, and I don’t have a plan.I guess I’ll let my heart guide me.
