“Lots of big choices being made,” I say, because I don’t have any other words.
“Yeah, but I’m going into this with my eyes wide open.I know what chemotherapy and radiation do to your body.I’m going to be sick, I’m going to lose my hair, lose weight, and I know that it’s going to be a tough road, but I want to travel it, Ellison.”She turns in her seat to face me, and I know before she opens her mouth she’s going to ask something of me, and no matter what it is, I’m not going to be able to tell her no.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen.I don’t know how my body will react, and my boys might need support.Chandler has Macie, and I don’t know if they’ll need help with the kids.Her parents are in Ohio, and then Copeland…” Her voice trails off as she clears her throat.
Mary was my rock when we lost our parents.We’ve lived next door to them our entire lives, and she helped me so much.I’d suddenly found myself running a business, with a sister still in high school, and Mary was my lifeline.I had Gram and Gramps, too, but they’d just lost their daughter and son-in-law, and I didn’t want to burden them with my fear and anxiety.It was Mary, my ex-boyfriend's mom, who pulled me through.
“Whatever you need,” I tell her, and I mean it.If that means I have to spend time around Copeland, the man I’ve gone out of my way to avoid, then so be it.This is more important.Sheis more important.
“I know that I’m asking a lot, but Copeland keeps things in here,” she says, tapping her chest.“He’s just left the life that he’s built for himself over seventeen years, and honestly, I’m more worried about him.I know Macie will take good care of Chandler and the kids, but Cope, he’s not going to want to put more on either of them, or me.”
“We’ll figure it out.Whateveritlooks like.”I smile.“Appointments, meals, someone to sit with you, someone to stay with you, whatever you need, Mary, we’re all here.Leighton and Courtlynn can help or fill in for me at the Manor.We’ve got a strong foundation.You have a strong foundation in us, in your sons.Let us be the ones that help you through this,” I say, a tear sliding down my cheek.
“My sweet girl,” she says, leaning over to pull me into a hug.“You and your sisters, all four of you, are family.I don’t know everything about what happened back then, but that’s never changed my feelings for any of you girls.Love is complicated, and adulting is hard.”She laughs.“I hate to even ask this of you, but if I know they’re okay, then I knowI’llbe okay.It sounds weird, but I’ve accepted this, and I’m ready to fight with everything I’ve got.My boys, after losing their dad so young, it was just me, and I fear this is going to hit them hard.”
“Understandably.Even if Heath were still with us, it would hit them hard, Mary.You’re their mother.My second mother.”More tears race down my cheeks, but I don’t bother to wipe them away.I know that more will take their place.
She smiles, her eyes glassy with tears.“Your mom was my best friend.Your parents would be so proud of you; you know that, right?All four of you girls—” She swallows hard.“They’d be so proud of you.”
“Thank you,” I croak.
“Enough of the heavy.How about you sit with me, and fill me in on how you and your sisters are doing while I warm up dinner and enjoy that slice of apple pie?”
“Deal.”We stand, and she grabs the containers as I follow her into the house.
For the next hour, we chat about anything and everything.I tell her about Baylor still loving New York, but we’re hoping she’ll make it home to visit soon.Leighton is thriving with her design business in addition to her duties at the Manor, and Courtlynn is working at the Manor, but she’s yet to really find her place or her passion.I know she will, though.
As for me, the Manor is running like a well-oiled machine.I’ve finally gotten the hang of it and have added so many things in the last ten years.I’ve learned a lot, and made just as many mistakes, but all four of us kept pushing through the pain of missing them, of the unknown, and came out stronger because of it.
When I make it back home, I realize I didn’t eat dinner.It’s after seven, so I should be able to sneak into the kitchen and grab whatever is left over, if anything.I don’t feel like cooking, and my sisters are both out.Leighton is meeting with Bowen to go over a logo for his bar, and Courtlynn is going to dinner with her best friend.That leaves me to fend for myself, and cooking for one isn't a good time—not for me at least.
I park my car in my driveway and walk over to the Manor.I’m lost in my thoughts, thinking about my visit with Mary, or I would have used the side door again.Instead, I make my way to the front door and freeze when I lift my head.Copeland is sitting on the steps.He hasn’t noticed me yet because his elbows are resting on his knees, his head is tilted, and his hands are resting on top of his head.
I freeze, and my heart squeezes in my chest.He’s sitting here alone, dealing with the news they got today.I can’t just walk past him.I may still be angry at the way he changed our plans, but I’m not heartless.
Pulling in a deep breath, I slowly exhale before moving to take a seat on the step next to him.As soon as he hears the sound of my shoes on the first step, his head lifts, and sad eyes find mine.His eyes are this gorgeous chocolate brown, but right now, they’re dark and full of grief.
“Hey.”I offer him a smile that I hope isn’t a grimace as I take the final step and sit next to him.
“Ells.”His voice cracks, and so does my heart.It cracks wide open for this man, for his family, and the pain they’re going through.
I don’t know what to say.I have no words to make him feel better.I don’t even know if he wants me to be sitting out here with him.I knew the eighteen-year-old boy who stole my heart.This man I’m sitting next to, I don’t know him.
I open my mouth to speak, but no words come out.Instead, I sit quietly with my hands clasped together in my lap.If he wants to talk, he will.If not, I’ll just sit with him for a few minutes.
Mary’s words come back to me about him being alone, and no matter what our past looks like, no one should be alone after the news he received today.Sure, they knew she had cancer, but now, they have a definitive plan of action, and that’s a lot to process.It also comes with the fear of losing someone you love.
“It’s in her lymph nodes,” he finally says.His voice is low and raspy.
“I know.I just visited with her,” I say softly.
He nods.“Thank you for that.I’m sure she enjoyed it.”
“No thanks needed.She’s family.”I tense as I say the words, because there was a time when I thought Mary James really would be my family.
“I don’t know how to help her, Ells.She’s all stone-faced, and I’m a fighter.She’s teared up, but she’s yet to cry.Is she in denial?Should I force her to talk about how she’s feeling?I don’t know what to do here.”
“She’s strong.Life has tossed her some sadness, and this is just something else she’s going to conquer.”
