Tears continue to fall freely down my hot cheeks as I suck in air that won’t come.
“It hurts! Everything hurts so much. I lost Ashvale, my only sense of family, Bren. I lost Rowan, Finn and now Neeve.” My hands curl uselessly at my sides. “I know it isn’t my fault. I know that now, but knowing doesn’t make it hurt less, and I don’t know what to do with all of it anymore except scream, and let it out. And if that makes me weak, then fine. I’m weak!”
A cold night breeze drifts across the clearing, and my focus slips back to the mountain behind us. Back to the place Neeve never came down from.
“I’m sorry you’re stuck with me.” Shaking my head, my voice starts to break apart. “I’m sorry I’m not her. I’m sorry you didn’t get to bond with my mum. I’m sorry she’s gone, that I couldn’t save her. But this is me.” I gesture helplessly at myself, at the trembling, crying wreck standing in front of her. “This is all of me.”
Stone grinds beneath claws, and when I turn back, Ahria is taking a step toward me. The scales around her eyes pull back, widening her gaze, and for one stupid, impossible second, I almost think she understands me, accepts me.
Then her pupils narrow, her muscles coil and instead she spreads her wings wide, launching into the sky with one brutal downbeat. Air slams across my face, dirt and leaves skittering over the ground as she climbs higher and higher into the night,until all I can see is the shimmer of emerald scales disappearing against the blood-red moon.
Frozen with disbelief, I don’t move.
All I can hear is the wind and the hard rush of my own breathing. Then even they seem to fade, like the world has pulled away from me.
She left.
I showed her every ruined part of me... and she just left.
Beneath me, my knees threaten to give as the heat drains from my face so fast I think I’m going to black out. Locking them, I try to keep myself upright, but then footsteps reach my side and arms wrap around me a beat later. I turn into him without needing to even look and collapse against the chest I already know.
“I’m so sorry.” Talen’s warmth hits me before I can even register his voice. “I came as soon as I could, but the ceremony had already started by the time I got here.”
The bittersweet smell of him pours into me, and the rush, the pure adrenaline that carried me through everything until now, drops out all at once, like my body has been waiting for him to start falling apart.
“I screamed at her,” I mutter as his uniform goes damp beneath my cheek and I have to press my feet into the ground to stop the tremors working through me. “I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I let it all out, and she... she just left.”
His mouth presses to my forehead, and the gentleness of the kiss only makes my chest hollow out more. “It’s okay, you’re allowed to let it out, you need to.” He breathes against my skin. “She’ll come back.”
“But will she?” My head snaps up to him too fast, and I have to blink hard to keep his face clear. “The bond hasn’t even sealed, and I just lost my shit in front of her. But I wanted to save her.Neeve.” My voice breaks on her name. “Icouldhave saved her. I was so close.”
“That’s not how Blood Moon works,” Talen’s right hand tightens around my waist as he lifts his left to cup my face. “There was nothing either of you could have done. I’m sure she was worthy, but sometimes there just isn’t a dragon compatible with their Threads out there.”
“But the dreams!”
“They are never a guarantee,” he sighs. “With Ahria I knew, because she had already started to connect with your mum, but with Neeve... She may have found a dragon but they may not have been able to return the bond.” Stroking a thumb across my cheek, he looks me over, catching the shaking I’m trying to swallow down. “Luc and I have to leave for Moorsend soon. There’s a meeting about the evacuation tomorrow, but I’m not leaving you here like this. You’re coming with us.”
“No.” I shake my head, but the movement makes everything tilt for half a second, and I clamp my teeth together before he sees my jaw tremble. “I’ll be fine. I need to find Ahria, and besides, evac runs are for senior recruits, Luc won't allow it.”
“I don’t give a shit what Luc thinks right now,” he declares, tucking a stray curl behind my ear. “And you're not fine, you’re coming down from the Vega juice, your brain will be a mess and you’re slipping into shock, so you’re coming with me.”
Talen stands back and holds out his hand toward me while I suck in shallow, useless little pulls of air that don’t seem to reach anywhere.
“I can’t. I have to find Ahria.” I repeat, forcing myself steady but without him holding me, my vision tunnels and the horizon dips sideways.
“I don’t know where she’s gone. I can’t reach her right now. But Cal assures me she will come back and meet us in Moorsend later.” He keeps his hand outstretched, and only then do I noticethe bandage around his arm. He’s in his training blacks, the sleeves long, but I can still see the thick wrap around his right bicep.
It must hurt like hell, but he gives no sign of it when the crash I’ve been trying to hide fully sinks its teeth into me and my knees buckle.
Catching my weight without a word, his arms lock back around me and for a few heartbeats, he holds my gaze. The gold in his eyes is softer than normal, and the pressure around my lungs finally starts to ease, just enough for me to pull in half a breath of cold night air and start walking.
Warmth bleeds through my fingers as he interlaces his with mine, but my head is still foggy and my pulse doesn't slow.
Because coming back doesn’t mean Ahria will seal the bond.
Coming back doesn’t mean she will choose me.
And with every step we take away from the clearing, that thought only gets louder and louder.
