“Don’t leave Rainbow House.”
“And?”
“Stay around other people.”And then, in the kind of tone that made reasonable people want to murder teenagers, he added, “Unless I’m going to the bathroom.”
“And?”
“Keep my phone on.”
“And if any of us calls you, you answer it.”
“Oh my God, I know.”The boy was wearing a black skirt over black leggings—and Jem was a thousand percent sure that Ammon didn’t know about this article of clothing—and he gave the skirt a tug and shot another glare in Jem’s direction.“I’m going inside now.”
“New rule.”
“What the fuck?”
“Two new rules.”
“No glitter in the car,” Daniel said with a roll of his eyes.
“That’s not a rule; that’s common sense.It’s like you do a craft with glitter every night, Danny.”Jem held up one finger.“No swearing because Tean doesn’t like it.”
“You swear all the time!”
He held up a second finger.“And you stay away from old guys.”
“Or what?You’ll beat them up?”
“Fucking A’.”
“You can’t,” Daniel said.“You’re not allowed back inside Rainbow House.”
“Danny my boy, sweet summer lad, I will kick down the door and drag every old fucker out by their ear hairs if I feel like it.”
Daniel didn’t bother to respond, but his eyes made Jem think that his thoughts were some combination ofewwandyou’re so weird.
“Have a fantastic time,” Jem said.“Tell everyone hi for me.And follow the fucking rules so I don’t have to hang you off an overpass by your heels.”
“You’d have to catch me first,” Daniel said, and he unlocked the door and slid out of the Subaru with a smirk.He straightened his cropped pink tee—another piece of clothing that was definitely contraband—and pale skin flashed in the streetlights as he bounced toward the old Victorian home.
Jem thought maybe he’d liked Daniel more when he’d been a tragically suffering closet-case.Then again, maybe he’d just liked him more before all the teenage hormones had started pumping.
This section of the curb was a no-parking zone, so Jem rolled around the block, found a spot, and parked.There were fewer streetlights here, and they were spaced far enough apart that he was sitting in darkness.He killed the Subaru, and the cold began to leak into the car.It was only a couple of hours.He had a good coat.He could turn the engine on and off if he needed to, warm up for a few minutes.Sure, it’d be nice to be able to wait inside, like he used to.But it was his fault.Going crazy like that.Going after Wendell.Completely losing his shit.
You can’t lose your shit or you go on the shelf.
For a moment, Decker was right there with him, all around him.The smell of the cleaner.The fluorescent lights that were always on.The noise, because there were kids that never shut up.Kids screaming.Some of them screamed for no reason.But sometimes therewasa reason.
He laid his head back.Got himself settled.When he breathed out the next time, the windshield fogged, and then the fog shrank down to nothing, and he could see again.He’d thought he’d already known how to keep a handle on his shit.You learned it when you were bouncing around in care, because you saw kids who couldn’t do it.You saw them blow up.You saw them scream.Break things.You saw them push a stroller with a baby off the stoop, and you barely caught it in time, and then Mrs.Fares thought you were messing around, and she hit you across the back so hard that you still had a handprint the next morning.
Those kids, the ones who couldn’t get their shit together, they only bounced so many times before they ended up in a group home.And you didn’t want to end up in a group home.In a group home, they had those doors that locked by themselves.In a group home, the older kids stole your shoes.They did other stuff.Worse.Because they knew the adults wouldn’t come check.
Jem unbuttoned his coat.
Kind of like Decker.
So, he’d learned how to keep it all under control.
