“Wait, was it bad, or something?” Anna asks, concern laced in her tone.
“No, it was…amazing. Really hot,” I swallow, my nerves kicking up. “Blake is insanely good with his hands.”
“Oh, good. For a second there, I thought you were going to say he didn’t bother to give you the big O or something terrible,”Anna says. Poppy elbows her gently and gives her a scolding look.
Anna frowns at her best friend. “What? I’m just looking out for Briar.”
Poppy sighs. “I know, but it feels a little invasive.”
I smile softly. “It’s okay. It means a lot how much you guys care. Truly.”
As much as it sucks going through this weirdness with Blake, I’m thankful for Anna and Poppy’s friendship. Especially after how I lost all my friends in Chicago.
I think about hooking up with Blake. My cheeks heat at the memory of how fast and how hard I came. “Blake made me come. It wassogood.” I clear my throat. “He seemed into it too. But then it got weird, and I can’t figure out why. We were going to go for round two, but then it was like he got cold feet or something.”
“Wait, what do you mean? He just stopped for no reason?” Poppy asks.
“Kind of. I mean, we were talking about things that turn us on to get us in the mood. I asked him if he liked to watch porn, and he said yes. I asked him to show me what he liked, and we watched it together.”
Anna and Poppy’s eyes go wide at the same time. “Damn, you two are kinky,” Anna teases.
“Watching it together was fun. And hot. We fooled around after that, and then he asked me what kind of stuff I liked to watch to turn myself on, and I mentioned That Shirtless Guy.”
My face burns with embarrassment thinking about that moment all over again.
“When I showed Blake the account, his mood changed all of a sudden. He turned cold and made something up about feeling sick, then he left. I texted him the next day to check on him, buthe blew me off. I know he’s avoiding me. I just don’t know why. He won’t talk to me.”
I leave out the part where he cuddled me last night when I had a nightmare about my ex. I don’t want to tell them…it could change the way they think about me, and I like how things are between us now.
Anna and Poppy are quiet for a long moment.
“That’s so weird Blake acted like that,” Poppy says.
Tears prick my eyes the more I think about it…the more I think about how he left me and how he’s treating me now.
“Maybe he regrets being with me. Maybe he didn’t like it.” I swallow through the tightness in my throat. My heart sinks. “Maybe he regrets trying to be more than friends, and he doesn’t know how to break it to me…”
I trail off when my voice starts to shake. I press my eyes shut to hold in my tears. I finally said out loud what I’ve been too scared to say this whole time, and I feel awful.
Anna slides out from her side of the booth and comes to sit next to me.
“If that’s the case, then he’s a jerk,” she says, hugging her arm around me.
“It’s the only thing I can think of. It’s the only thing that makes sense,” I say.
We’re all quiet again. Anna hugs me tighter. Poppy gives me a pitying look.
A minute later, Anna sits up and grabs my arm. “You know what? If Blake is going to be like this, forget him.”
I look at her.
“You tried reaching out to him. You tried talking to him. He’s the one icing you out. He’s the one giving you the cold shoulder,” Anna says. “So maybe you shouldn’t wait around for him.”
“What do you mean?”
“Look, I know you like Blake. And I know it sucks that he’s treating you like this, but he’s not the only guy in the world. He’s not the only guy at Hollis U, even. There are plenty of guys on campus who would love to hook up with you,” Anna says.
“I’m not ready to be with another guy,” I say.
