“Meant to become,” she concluded. “I go by many names…” She tapped her nose as her deep brown complexion turned to a honey before tapping it again as she went to a pale yellow with a brown mole on the corner of her mouth. “Many faces…” Tapping her chin, her complexion trickled to dark as if her face slowly fell into a bed of paint only to look back at me as a reddish-brown complexion traced up her arms, folding againsther shoulders until her entire neck and face was covered. Her white eyes became brown, then hazel, then dark green with each blink before settling on a dark brown.
“But I am you.” Smiling, she blinked both eyes as her complexion matched mine, eyes became dark red with her hair turning dark brown before trickling into white strands. Her face was identical to mine to the point where I could have been looking in a mirror. We stared at each other for a moment as my heart throbbed in my chest.
“Hi,” she greeted softly. She even sounds like me. Studying every inch of my features, her eyes eventually settled back into my mine with a comfortable gaze.
“Hi,” I croaked.
I’ve never seen magic like this before. Even her white hair, thick and luscious in its natural state, began to shift in its growth.Just like mine.
“So…what are…you..what am I?” I asked. There was silence for another moment. Only the sound of the creeping vines traveling against the walls, slithering around the corners and archways until I heard tiny footsteps from above. I looked up, hearing them cascade down until a little boy burst into the opening of the kitchen, one with a vaguely familiar face. He smiled at me just as Gaia made her way towards him, handing him a lollipop before sending him off. I waited until the sounds of his little feet disappeared when she looked back at me again. She finally responded.
“Confused, I’m sure.” Gaia pulled up a chair to sit in front of me. Smiling, her dark complexion suddenly spilled into a creamy butter brown as she gently smoothed one hand down her white hair.
“I…I…” Looking up at the stretching vines crossing over the ceiling. “Confused is an understatement.”
“I am you from many many moons and suns ago,” she finally admitted.
“We’re related?” I asked. She leaned in close as her face slowly shifted into mine again.
“In a way, we are…Yes.”
“So if you’re alive…”
“Only through you. I wanted to see what I’ve become…what I turned into…”
I felt my eyes burn with tears because what did she see, and was she happy with it?
“Well get your disappointment out now while I’m here,” I choked with a toss of my arms in the air. “I still live at home with my mother even though I haven’t seen my parents in over a year it seems. I have little to no family if any at all at this point which contradicts everything I just said. Everyone expects great things from me…or everyone expects me to be this powerful violent Moon Goddess…I’m not even sure what I am and the abilities I did manage to have, suddenly don’t work anymore.”
Her brows came together but she never broke contact, just listened. I unintentionally broke down at the realization that this may be an illusion. That I may be facing myself, my own insecurities and fears that have been locked away for years.
“I haven’t been happy in a long time…Just…going around pretending for the sake of everyone else, and I’m tired. I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of laughing and making jokes of my own life just so others don’t see how…fucked it is. I’m tired of suppressing everything for others to be happy and comfortable around me. I’m tired because I’ve been feeling like I have topretend to be someone I’m not. I am just Maggie Grey, and it seems like it’s not enough these days,” I told her before realizing how this must sound. Smearing my wet cheeks with my hand, I sniffed away the rest of my tears. “I probably come off pretentious as hell. This is probably trivial compared to…whatever…you have in mind about me and my life…”
She simply stared at me as I caught the strands of her hair beginning to shift around. You could hear the hairs touch and twist as they began to quietly braid from the ends up to her scalp. In awe, I watched as her entire head of thick white natural hair suddenly became braided with individuals parting her scalp. She looks like the embodiment of nature itself. Everything about her was fresh, vibrant, and alive.
“Okay, not to change the subject but I need to learn how to do that with my hair,” I laughed. She looked at her own hair, touching it with her hand as the braids gently fell back apart in soft waves.
“You already know how to do it. Why have you lost confidence in yourself… I was never like this,” she said, confused. “Why are you calling yourself the Moon Goddess. You are Gaia…That is the name I was given. Words have meaning…meaning and intent can be powerful and that creates the highest form of magic.”
“It’s…it’s what…The moon–––”
She stood up, having heard enough of any moon talk as her hair slowly darkened by the roots until it was a soft mahogany brown to the very ends. She took my hand and forced me on my feet to follow her. I could see a peek of her fangs attempting to draw back down from her gums but that was only if shewas triggered by hunger. Vampires should only draw their fangs when they’re preparing to eat or attack which…
“Come,” she said, taking me towards the back door. When she saw my hesitation, she smiled as her tongue peeked between her fangs. “I’m not going to feed on you if that’s what you fear…”
Taking a deep swallow, I shook my head with a nervous laugh. I have to remember she is literally me but like…Jesus level me.
“No. No…” I let out quickly. “I wasn’t thinking that.”
“I want to show you something.”
I looked at her before carefully stepping out into the wavy grass that blew in my direction. The blades of the grass invited me to walk, gently hugging my ankles and curling around my feet. The air felt so light and clean that I almost felt like I could sleep outside. There were no trees, just sand dunes that were now replaced with rolling hills of greenery. Kneeling down, I reached to touch the grass as the blades anxiously reached for my fingers. I could feel the vibrations of the ground trembling beneath me as I trailed my hand over the tips of the turf. The ground was alive, and it was breathing, inhaling and exhaling at the exact same time as me. I took in a deep breath as the grass pulled up in waves towards me before exhaling loudly back into the air. The landscape slowly relaxed back down as I laughed. Turning around, I started to call out to the woman, to myself but she wasn’t there. Just the house with the sliding door open but when I turned back, she was standing right in front of me. Her fangs were still drawn out, her white eyes blinking dark brown and her hair was weaving itself into another set of thick braids. Her dark skin was suddenly peeling away from the nose as adeep honey brown complexion appeared, spreading across her face and eyes, down to her neck and hands.
“Water draws to me,” I blurted out as she continued to stare deep into my eyes. “The moon…I think does that…” I looked down at my hands as I saw the first droplet of water splat against my skin. Even the tiniest of hairs on my arm raised up before lying flat as if they were breathing and taking in air into my skin. Looking up, I could see the rain trickle down, and each rain had a chime to it, like tiny whispers of bells falling from the sky. I never heard anything like it. I tried to ignore the intense stare from her as I held my hand up to catch the rain but when I looked back at her, I could see her eyes slowly pull away from my neck and back at me again.
Slowly, she smiled but I didn’t…. Looking down, I felt the dampness of water creep up on the side of my feet as I looked down at the soaked grass. Looking around, I could see the backyard that was grass just moments before was now swallowed by dark water that rippled around us. I looked back seeing the house floating in the distance as a little boy stood in the glass window with a lollipop stick poking out the corner of his mouth. He waved before running back into the house as if I planned on chasing him, but it looked like if I took one step off this mound, I would be submerged.
“What is this?” I asked in awe as I looked all around us. We were standing in the middle of an endless lake on our own island big enough for our feet and bodies. It was the same as before, the water pulling towards us before circling around. I turned to look at Gaia as she drew her eyes back from my neck once more, this time, not as obvious.
