Muah.
And then again.
Things moved inside of my chest. I could feel the pain of it all. I could hear the ruckus of it all. Flocco was wedging himself between my head and heart and secretly, I hated it. I wasn’t ready for the emotions that came with his position. Liberation had saved me. I wasn’t prepared for captivity.
“You good?”
I nodded.
“What’s on your mind?”
I melted deeper into the seat.
“So much and nothing at once,” I admitted.
“Talk to me,” he demanded, lowering the volume of the stereo.
I rolled my eyes, hating the thoughts rolling around in my head.
“I like my freedom. In fact, I love my freedom.” I revealed.
“Understood.”
I didn’t have to explain. Laurence’s comprehension skills were incredible.
“I’ll always choose myself. One time, I didn’t. And, it was the worst mistake of my life. So, I don’t have the energy or desire to do that again. Ever. I’ll always choose me. There will never be a time that anyone has to question my choice. It’ll always be Hyphen Stone.”
“It should be. I never doubted that, Hyph.”
Silence spread throughout the spacious vehicle.
“That’s it.”
“Hm?” My eyebrows furrowed.
“That’s the reason. My reason– The reason I can’t let you go. The reason I can’t let anyone else have you. The reason I’m willing to wait. The reason you on my dome night and day. It ain’t just because you’re pretty or your pussy is immaculate. It’s because you have a good head on your shoulders, Hyph.
“You’re an independent thinker. Without ever opening your mouth, motherfuckers know what time it is when they step to you. Niggas know your world and theirs must revolve around one person; Hyphen Stone. If they ain’t with that shit, then they might as well run the other way.”
“Yet you haven’t.”
“Cause my world was burned to the ground. I ain’t had a home since my people lost their lives that night. I’m ready to rebuild. And, I ain’t got an issue with building a world that surrounds yours. I’m ‘bout what you’re about, Hyph. So, if you’re all about you, then me, too. You feel me?”
My chest ached.
“I know you been through some shit. I know life ain’t been ideal. Especially not lately. But, neither has mine been. Still, you get up and keep that chin of yours from hitting your chest. I like that shit. I love that shit. And, strangely, I feel like we’re more alike than you are willing to admit.
“You had your chest cracked open. I get it. I understand your frustration and that you’re on your hate niggas shit right now. But, when you’re ready to love a nigga… just let that nigga be me. That’s all I ask. Give me that chance so I can show you that you never have to love another nigga in yo life, baby. Not unless we luck up on a lil nigga. One of our own. Down, down the line.
“So, be about you, Hyph. Be about yourself. Be as selfish as you want to be. I’m ‘bout that shit, too. I want you better. I want you healthier. I want you smarter. I want you however youwant yourself. I see you however you see yourself. If that’s the pinnacle, then cool. We both know what it is so we never have to wonder.”
He pulled my hand to his lips and kissed again.
“You ain’t got to stay hard on me, Hyph. You can chill a little. I don’t give a fuck how many niggas done told you they wouldn’t do you dirty. I can show you better, baby.”
“That’s the thing with this. It’s all a game. Not all men think they’ll do you dirty until the dirt has been done and they can’t help themselves. The dirt just keeps piling.”
“Valid point. And, I don’t have any words to convince you otherwise. Cause it is how the shit works, but not for me. You’ll find that out with time.”
