I put on a smile."Welcome Inmadra and Celravi," I said in abayan, stepping back to allow them into the room."I buy dumplings.I make tea."
Inmadra looked up at me as she stepped in, fluting out a sound of disappointment."You have bought dumplings," she corrected firmly."You will make tea.You should offer tea first, and be mindful of your syntax."
Celravi, who was tall and willowy with a long white crest, hummed under her breath as she drifted to the couch to sit."I always enjoy dumplings best with tea," she said."You have the makings of a good host."
I sent Inmadra the worksheets I'd completed while she settled at the little table, and I laid out a tray of dumplings and made tea before scooping up the subdermal knitter again so that I could work on my bruises while we reviewed my exercises (which Inmadra pronounced wasless than adequate, which I thought might almost be a compliment)."Sorry," I said as her black stare caught on the flash of silver, "I've started training with a retired pit fighter.I might be a bit – uh – beat up when we meet in person?"
"Hm."She gestured to the tea, so I set down the knitter and poured it into the three arrayed cups.I handed one to her, then took one to Celravi, who smiled at me, and then settled down with my own."And your sinnenthi approves of this?"
It wasn't the first time she'd asked what Araxis thought about what I was doing.It also wasn't the first time I chose to respond with deflection."Araxis wants me to do what makes me happy.He's a good sinnenthi.So – how would I say that I've been going to a trainer?I am go to –trainer?"
Inmadra flashed the corrected worksheets back to my wristband, three of them flagged for me to do over, and set to helping me manoeuvre through the intricacies of syntax when I wanted to speak about something I had done and was going to continue doing.By the end of our two hours, my head was starting to throb, but Inmadra had only grimaced at me four times when I tried to muddle my way through a rudimentary exchange of greetings, so that was a win.
Celravi, who had pulled out an actual book – small and pocket-sized – that she was paging through, smiled at me again as they both prepared to leave."You have a fine ear for our language, Sashen of Creche Thiel," she said happily."Your sinnenthi must be very proud."
I made all the right noises and finalized the time for our next session – Inmadra did some sort of shift work that was unpredictable, so I worked around her schedule on my days off – and managed to see them off without admitting that my sinnenthi knew nothing about where I was or what I was doing today.How could he be proud of me when I simply vanished into the station?
After my first day off, Araxis had asked me, very carefully, if I'd had a nice day.When I'd said it had been interesting, expecting to tell him about the tourists in Central and the throbbing lights of Glimmer and the familiar apathy of Radiant, he'd merely smiled and then drifted away to go finish up an agreement he and Vivith had been drafting with Creche Thonen.I'd been left feeling a bit unsteady, as if I'd reached out for him and, instead of catching me, he'd moved away.Jarring, like missing a step.
I'd thought, until then, that what we were doing – with the contract, with our break – was feeling out the edges of what we had.I'd thought that our agreement was a tool we could use to figure out if, how, we could… have something.
Apparently, that wasn't the case.He reallywasmy client.I reallywashis employee.Our contract had weight and heft.It was real.And so I carefully folded up any expectations I'd had that he might ask me about my day and want to know, that he might pull me close and invite me in, that he might open up for me so that I could feel safe doing that for him too; I folded those up and I tucked them away and I reminded myself, alone in our bedroom where we were playacting as a couple, that I was being paid.This was a job.This waswork.
Araxis was my client, and any of the complicated, thorny feelings I had for him had to be put away.So I was doing that, or I was trying to anyway.I could do that.I was good at putting things I didn't need away.
I moved quietly around my little apartment, cleaning up the dishes and setting them carefully to dry before I clicked down the work surface set into one wall and hauled a wobbly chairs over to it.The display hummed to life, my wristband syncing with the local server.I opened up the file I'd been compiling for Valerie Prior, logging in through six layers of encryption she'd set in place on a private media server that was no doubt pinging off of relays so obscure that no one would ever think to look there unless they wanted to do research into the mating habits of subspace bacteria.
As soon as I slipped past the final layer of encryption, a cheery line of green text hummed to life.I winced, rubbing my fingers against my temple.Thanks for the worksheets!More of those please – and send us the ones you've had corrected.Our linguistics team got really excited.I'm not sureI'dget excited about homework these days, but you know.To each their own.She'd attached a series of questions from some of the other people in Perseus, mostly about the creches we'd met with so far and who seemed progressive (and might be open to allying with a new human political entity) and who seemed more traditional.What kinds of things were they negotiating for?What did most creches seem to want?What things would they be willing to trade for, if Perseus could get their hands on the right goods, supplies, services?
I filed the list away for mental reference.That seemed harmless enough.
As I was working in the encrypted interface, uploading and attaching my corrected worksheets, a green message popped up on the side of the display, porting over from my wristband.
You're online!, Valerie wrote from somewhere in the universe.I wanted to ask how are things going with your space prince.All made up?
What could I say tothat?I prodded my cheek with my tongue – I'd bitten myself at Tam's – before pushing up from my desk to go grab some water from the kitchen.I hadn't thought to stock up on any pain meds – stupid – so I'd have to deal with this headache by my tried and true method ofsmile through the pain.
I was good at that.
So I sat down again, contemplated how honest I wanted to be (not very), and wrote,We're taking a break, which has been good.Starting from square one again.Then, because I had to tell someone,Your advice was good, so thanks for that.We actually drew up a contract.He's paying me and everything.I think having some structure is good.Maybe we can go from there?Be a bit more intentional??
Although, in truth, I wasn't sure how we were supposed to build from this particular foundation.How did you go from lovers to sort-of being married to betrayal to a contractual work relationship to – what, romance?
I was about to log off when another message popped up.As long as he's treating you well, said the green text.Is he at least spoiling you?Taking you out, buying you pretty things, writing you love songs?
I snorted.He's making sure I have days off, and he's leaving me alone to do what I want to do.I've been working with a trainer and you've seen how my language lessons are coming along.And I haven't learned to cook yet, but I'm buying a lot of dumplings with my own money, so that's close?
You did want freedom and a life fully lived!, Val wrote.Which reminds me: keep an eye out for a package.I've rerouted it to your new place in Radiant Ward.
I frowned at the screen, before another message floated to the surface.I know, I know, you didn't tell me, but I have an alert set for your name so I saw the rental agreement come through.Sorry!Is that weird?
This time, I settled on honesty.I mean, it does verge on creepy, Val.
If I'm going to be creepy, at least I hope it's in a helpful way!she responded.Then,Ah, shit, I've gotta go.Target just took off into the sewers.It's always the fucking sewers.This was followed by an illustration of a fluffy animal with six legs, three eyes, and a tail that was drooping morosely.
I stared blankly at the screen, then huffed out an incredulous laugh – a bit tight and pained.Tell me about the sewers when you're back, I wrote, because maybe she was creepy, but I didn't think Valerie would be great at subterfuge over the long-term.Maybe if she talked to me more, I could get a warning if things started to go sideways on me.The more comfortable she felt, the more she might let slip.
Because, sure, I was doing some light spying – sending Perseus my homework, really the stuff of broadcast thrillers – but I was also having my own back.That's what I was doing now.
