I need it to be quieter.
I need no distractions when judging his intentions.
I wish I hadn’t had anything to drink.
I wish Austin hadn’t started buying us whiskey.
Then, out of nowhere, I’m jolted back to the present by a body slamming into the side of mine and a long arm slumping itself around me.
Austin is back, all sweat and overstimulation.
“Dude,” he cries out, his voice still pitched like he’s beside the speakers. “I’ve had like, three different girls ask me about you. They’re all cute. If you wanted, you could clean up tonight.” He jerks his chin towards the end of the bar where a cluster of women are all standing, pretending not to look over, but doing a terrible job at it.
I smile at them, and wave.
It feels good to be wanted.
Austin’s other hand reaches across my body. He plants his cheek on my shoulder, and shakes me. “They want that fresh meat.”
My head wobbles from side to side.
“You gonna go over?”
I look at each of them, one at a time, like I’m actually contemplating it. When I focus back on Tek I expect him to be waiting for my eye contact, but instead, he’s fishing through Anaise’s hand bag.
“Where the fuck are my keys?” he demands of Austin, who removes his hands from me to hold them both up in surrender.
“Carey?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Tek’s eyes drag down my body as far as they can go, then drop further, burning my legs through the table. He looks like he’s about to accuse me, but instead, he stands up and turns around to look at Anaise.
When he turns back, I’ve risen too, and we’re at a standoff.
I take my jacket from the chair and put it on without a word.
“Carey,” he says again, and I take a step backward.
I look towards the bathrooms, then the front door. The bathrooms are closer, but there’s a clearer track outside.
I don’t know why I do it, but I start walking.
My eyes are locked on the exit sign, and my ears are ignoring the way Tek calls out my name.
I push the door open with both hands and the outside air hits me like a headbutt; my first breath of frigid air making my eyes water.
I turn right.
The alley between the bar and the building beside it is packed thick with people smoking.
I turn down it anyway, shouldering my way through until I’m almost at the back of the bar.
Tek calls my name again, and on impulse I change directions.
I'm behind the bank, I think.
There aren’t as many lights here, and the music is so faint I can hear the footsteps behind me.
