I let the silence hang as I try with all my might to decipher what the fuck he means by that. Then, emboldened by the alcohol, I tell him, "I'm more than just an emotional support animal."
Tek lowers his head, and fixes me with a look so direct I nearly swallow my tongue.
“I'm serious.” I lean my elbows on the table and close the gap between us as much as I can with furniture in the way. “I don't think you can live without me right now.”
He smiles, but it’s delayed. “You’re an idiot.”
“Yeah, but you’d be bored without me.”
Tek lets out a grumbling noise, but it’s not an argument. And I just let it sit.
I find myself thinking about what Anaise had said, about Tek disappearing, and I wonder how it would feel to chase him down instead of letting him run. Instead of sitting back and letting him decide the mood, what would happen if I told him how I felt without being terrified that he’d never speak to me again?
Across the room, Anaise is spinning in wild circles, singing so loud her voice is drowning out the song. She catches my eye, and after a very non-tactful thumbs up, she pulls Austin towards her and starts swaying out of tempo.
I run my hand over the keys in my pocket, and for a second I imagine what it would be like to hold onto them forever.
“Are you still pissed at him?”
I blink, and look back at Tek. “I’m sorry?”
“Your brother. Are you still pissed?”
“I don’t think so.” I empty the glass and slide it across the table to sit with the stack of empties. “If he hadn’t left I’d probably not be working at the shop, and… I’d likely still be here tonight. The only difference is, he’d be here too.”
Tek’s eyes pan over to the empty seat beside me like there was a hidden meaning in what I said.
“You miss him?”
The question hits harder than I mean it to.
Tek’s shoulders go rigid, then relax. “Not really.” I don’t believe him for a second, but I nod anyway because I know what it’s like to miss someone and hate them at the same time.
“You know, I’d have put money on him being the one to cheat.”
Tek crushes the can in his fist. “Why’s that?”
“Cause of how our mother raised him. I’m sure you know about that better than I do.”
Tek nods. “Your brother has his moments, but he’s always been loyal.”
“To you.”
“To all of us.”
“And yet he’s not here,” I mutter and turn my head away.
“I like you better than Shawn.” Tek speaks like he’s throwing the words away, hoping I won’t notice them.
“I’d hope so,” I snicker. “I don’t do as much as she did, but—”
“You do it better.”
“My god, Tek. Are you complimenting me?”
“I can stop.”
“But then how would I hear about how much you want me around.”
