I’m still a foot away but his lips part, and I know exactly what he wants.
The tip of my index finger draws a line across his bottom lip.
He’s still got a death grip on my tank top and the blanket is still twisted around us, but as soon as two of my fingers press down against his tongue, Tek settles into my lap.
His hand flattens against my chest.
His lips close, and when he starts sucking, the tension in his jaw evaporates.
He’s still crying, but the anger is gone.
He can have my fingers as long as he needs them.
I sit up properly, and just share the space with him until I can feel him settle completely.
I want to tell him I love him too, but it feels so silly right now.
None of this is about me. He’s never even called me his boyfriend.
Tek hums, and I slide my fingers out of his mouth.
I hold his jaw because I can sense he wants them close, and he lets out a stuttered breath when I grip tighter.
“Can you…” He starts, his gaze dropping from me like he’s ashamed of what he’s about to say. “Can you make me forget?”
“You shouldn’t ever forget—”
“No, that’s not—” He stops himself before continuing. “I just wanna forget,now.”
I swallow. “What exactly are you asking me, Tek?”
Reaching for my wrist, he guides my hand to his throat then slides his over the top of mine, forcing me to squeeze.
“I…”
His eyes fall, but he doesn’t lighten his grip.
“...I want you to push me around… Talk down to me…”
His free hand reaches between us.
I should tell him to stop.
“...You can hurt me if you want.”
“I don’t ever want to hurt you.” My fingers go slack but he bullies them to poke harder into his neck.
“You will if I deserve it.”
“Tek—”
“Sometimes I lose control… Sometimes I don’t even know I’ve gone…”
I pry my hand away from beneath his so I can hold the back of his head and press our foreheads together.
“...Do you think you can bring me back to you?”
“I’ll always find you.”
