“I havenae ken ye long enough to ken what sort of man ye are!” Emily huffed. Her voice was starting to rise, and she had to force herself to stop.
She inhaled sharply through her nose and shook her head as she forced herself to speak in a more reasonable tone.
“As ye can see, I have family who very much like to insert themselves into me business, whether I want them to or nae,” Kaden spoke casually, but she could sense the annoyance under his words. “Ye are soon to be me wife, and ye must start acting like it. Ye cannae avoid me forever.”
Emily scoffed. “This is because I didnae choose to have breakfast with ye?”
The ticking of the muscle in his jaw told her that yes, that was exactly what this was about, but he was too prideful to admit it.
“Nay, this is so thatbothof us will be allowed to have some privacy from time to time. Do ye nae think that me family will come and pester ye or me, orbothof us, if they think that even the smallest thing is amiss in our marriage?”
Oh, there was something much deeper to this story than she knew, and that much was obvious. Was that something that she was allowed to ask about?
Perhaps not, but she was going to try anyway.
“Why does it bother ye that they are so involved?”
Kaden seemed to consider her question for a while. “Have ye ever had somebody from yer past come back into yer life and treat ye like ye were the last version of yerself that they kent?”
Oh, this had to do with what Skye had told her earlier. Emily’s gaze dropped to his wrists and the thick leather bracers that he wore at all times. He probably even slept in them. All of his scars were off limits. She wasn’t bold enough to ask about them again, when he had reacted to even her moment’s hesitation before so poorly.
The only answer that she had for him was, “Sort of.”
Kaden nodded. “Ye cannae expect people to grow and nae change, even if ye wish that they would stay the same. I fear that it is a maither’s wish for her children to never grow up and stay young forever, just as it is the nature of folks to hope that the image they have of a person will never be shattered.”
Emily stepped forward, placing a hand on his forearm. “Some expectations are impossible to live up to. I ken that feeling very well.”
Kaden nodded, seemingly finished with the conversation. But Emily didn’t know if she was ever going to be afforded this opportunity again. He was so rarely vulnerable, it seemed.
“Ye ken how me faither forced me to grow out of the version of meself that he had raised with nay warning or real preparation. Overnight, practically. It shattered the image of him that I had throughout me childhood. I thought of him as this hero to look up to, to model meself after. I worked so hard…” She shifted, turning up her palms so that she might look at them better.
The scars that she had were nothing compared to those on the man in front of her. But she had archery calluses on her fingers and palms, and deep lash marks up and down her forearms from improperly using bracers during childhood.
While hers were all fading now, she mourned the loss of the strength that her hands once possessed when she was allowed to live the way she wanted.
“On me coming-of-age day, he removed all me riding clothes and replaced them with fine dresses. He said that now I must be a lady, and never looked at me the same after that.”
She felt close to tears, confessing her shame out loud. But she refused to cry in front of Kaden. That wasn’t what all of this was supposed to be about in the first place. She just wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone.
“I was pushed into this box that I had never tried on before, and me faither was shocked and appalled when I didnae fit easily inside of it. Then, he decided one day that I was little more than currency to be traded to a man for whatever he could get for me… And he thought that the daughter he had raised to be strong was going to go easily?!”
A single tear rolled down her cheek before she could stop it, and she quickly dashed it away.
“Maybe that isnae exactly what ye mean, but I can understand. I am nae trying to avoid ye, but I willnae let a man tell me that me wants and dreams arenae worthy ever again. Ye agreed with me the other night, so why can ye nae understand that I need time to do what I?—”
Kaden pulled her in, wrapping his arms around her, and she fought back her tears as she allowed herself to be held. She closed her eyes, focusing on the strong, steady beat of his heart against the side of her face. She fisted her hands into his shirt, relishing the feel of him for only a moment before shoving him away.
“This is what I am talking about, Kaden. We agreed on a year, and then ye will have yer heir and everything that comes with it. Ye cannae just keep kissing me to change me mind, or attempting to seduce me so that I will do what ye want. If ye cannae do that, then…” she trailed off.
But she knew that he understood she meant that she would leave if she had to. Even if that meant she left with nothing more than the dress on her back, she would do it if she had to.
The very idea terrified her, if she was being honest about it. And putting aside the fact that she had nowhere to go, she didn’t want to leave here. She… wanted to be with Kaden.
But not if she couldn’t be herself while she was with him. She had gone through too much to lessen herself now.
Kaden’s brow furrowed as he looked down at her. “Perhaps we havenae been honest enough with one another. Ye have to ken that in me position…” He sighed. “There is a certain image that we must present. Even if ye and I ken how things are behind closed doors, there is a part of this that ye must uphold too, Emily. If ye daenae, then ye are getting what ye want, and I have to bear the consequences alone.”
There was no cruelty or accusation in his tone, merely a statement of fact.
