My chest was tight again and I nodded.“I was never sad. I never fucking cried because she didn’t give a damn about me. Not once.”
“Then maybe you should. You can do that now, here, while it’s just me.”
She scooted closer and looped her arms around my neck, pulling me into her chest. I lifted mine and locked them behind her back, holding her so damn tightly I wasn’t even sure she could breathe and released years of not feeling like I was good enough, not understanding why that woman never loved me the way she should have as I fucking cried like a baby.
Somee held me tightly, allowing us to be in the moment, replacing all those emotionally dark spaces with a light I wasn’t even sure I deserved. I felther. I felt herlove. And I knew I was never letting this woman go.
Never fucking leaving…
Two hourslater we were pulling up to the spot where Felicia would be buried. I felt lighter and at peace. It was crazy how you can carry something for years and never realize how much it affected you until you let it go.
When I stepped out of the SUV and rounded the back to let Somee out on the other side, she moved into my personal space and dropped her head back to look up at me.“You okay?”
I nodded and dropped my head until my mouth reached hers for a kiss. When I had her eyes again, she smiled.“That wasn’t an answer.”
“I’m good,” I said without signing.
I moved Somee out the way and shut the door, moving to the front passenger’s side to let Des know they could wait in the truck. but my attention moved back to Somee when she waved her hand, bringing my eyes to her. “You invited Omiri?”
I frowned hard as hell, confused by why she was asking about Omiri until she motioned behind me and I turned to find him standing a few feet away with Makari at his side.
The fuck is he doing here?
I extended my hand to Somee and locked our fingers while we made our way to them. It was cold as hell out here. Not even the suit and wool coat I wore was enough. The wind was cutting through me, so I pulled Somee into my side, knowing she had to be freezing her ass off in the dress she’d picked for today. Her coat was thinner than mine. Some shit she kept saying was cute that I knew wouldn’t keep her warm worth a damn.
“What you doing here, O?”
“You’re my muthafuckin’ family, why wouldn’t you expect me to be?” His expression was serious when he stared me down likeI had wronged his ass for not being the one who gave him the heads up that he needed to be here.
“I learned a long time ago not to expect things from people.”
“You don’t have to expect shit frompeople, but I’m your brother, Land. You know I’m always gonna step behind you, no matter what, because I know you’ll do the same for me.”
He pulled me into a hug, speaking lowly so I was the only one who could hear him. “I know how you feel about her but I also know she’s still the reason you’re breathing. I’m sorry.”
“’Preciate that.” I stepped back and brushed a hand over my head. Omiri still had both of his parents, if they could even be called that but he also understood what it meant to not be enough in their eyes. His relationship with his parents was more complicated than what I had to deal with when it came to Felicia. A mother who hated him because she loved a man who didn’t love her properly. Omiri was his father’s twin, so every time she looked at my boy, all she saw was his old man. Then there was his father who only stepped to him with his hand out. He loved his son, but he loved the lifestyle Omiri provided him with even more.
“Hey…” Makari stepped to me with a soft smile. “I’m sorry about Felicia.”
“’Preciate that.” She hugged me and smiled when she pulled away.
“I guess this means I have to pretend that I care about you, at least for today.”
I smiled. “Nah, keep it one hundred.”
“Aight, fuck you then.” I laughed before she turned to Somee and hugged her, signing that she liked her dress.
I appreciated that her over ambitious ass cared enough to at least try to learn Somee’s language. Makari and Omiri were my family and I would never take that for granted. While Somee andMakari were engaged in a conversation, with Makari fucking up signs, Omiri stepped to me. “You cool, you need anything?”
My eyes went right to the reason I was going to survive the day before I focused on my boy. “Nah, I’m straight.”
He glanced at Somee and laughed. “She got your ass, didn’t she? I knew she was gonna take you down.”
“Yeah, she got me, but she didn’t take shit. I willingly walked right into this, ready to hand it all over.”
“That’s what the fuck I’m talking about.” He extended a closed fist that I met.
I lifted my hand, smoothed my waves, and glanced at the casket waiting on me. “Let’s get this shit over with.”
