“Is he going to try to get custody?”My heart clenched with the thought. In such a short time, Ryland and Rylee had become a family. They loved each other. This was her home and although she hadn’t been thrilled about the idea of being here at first, I had a feeling she wouldn’t want to be anywhere else if it meant leaving her brother behind.
“Don’t know yet. Haven’t talked to him.”I frowned, not understanding what the issue was until he added.“They also found F-E-L-I-C-I-A.”
Well, shit…
“She wants Rylee back?”
He shook his head before his hands were moving.“She was found in a hotel room with a bottle of pills…”
My heart dropped into my stomach.“Did she…”
Ryland nodded.
“Are you okay?”
His face tensed and he just stared at me for a minute. I lifted my hands to assure him that he could tell me whatever he wanted. I could see the struggle, like he wasn’t sure what to say.“You have the right to feel how you feel, whatever that is.”
Ryland placed his hands on my thighs, brushing his fingers over them and closing his eyes. He needed a moment and I gave him that.
When he responded, his motions were harsh and filled with anger.“I fucking hate her with everything that I am. I hate that she wasn’t a mother to me. I hate that it was so easy for her to just give me away, and more than anything, I hate that Rylee had to experience the worst parts of her…”
“But…”I signed and his jaw clenched.
“Sovoya thinks I should bury her and take care of all the arrangements. No matter how much I fucking hate that woman, a part of me feels like I should. I don’t owe her a gotdamn thing. If it were me, I truly don’t know that she would do the same.”
I now understood. He was conflicted. With all the emotions and negative feelings he had for Felicia, at the core of it all, she was still his mother. As much as he hated her, the little boy who was never loved properly was longing for things Felicia refused to give and now couldn’t. His desire to be loved properly by his mother would never be fulfilled.
“You’re a good person, Ryland.”
He snorted and his jaw tightened before his hands were moving.“That’s what Sov said. Told me I need this for closure and to not let how she treated me change the person I am. It’s fucking bullshit.”
“It’s not and I agree with her. You feel something, and no matter what those feelings are, they’re valid. You need a place to put those emotions. I don’t know if handling the arrangements for your mother will bring you closure, but doing so will give you a way to process your feelings, or at the very least, acknowledge them. It also shows that regardless of what she was or wasn’t for you, you’re still a good person. An amazing, sexy, and handsome man with a great heart.”
He smiled sexily.“I’m dealing with some heavy shit and you’re trying to get fucked again.”
I laughed.“I’m actually not.”
“Talking about how sexy and good hearted I am means you want to get fucked, Somee.”
“For the record, I was the one who fucked you.”
He tossed his chin, delivering a smile. “You got that, which means I owe you one.”
My eyes rolled playfully.“I’m not keeping score. Now, can we focus? I’m trying to help you with your heavy shit. Will you let me do that?”He smiled sexily and nodded before his hands were moving.
“You already did. I’mma hit Sov and let her know I need to start the process. We’ll have to fly to Chicago. I need to call Sovoya so she can start making plans to deal with this shit.”
He sat up, gripped the back of my neck, and brought me into a kiss, resting his forehead against mine when he pulled away. We sat there for a minute before I had his eyes again.
“Let me go make this call.” He spoke the words without signing them and I nodded and climbed off his lap, watching as Ryland lifted from the bed. He pulled me into him as soon as he was on his feet and kissed me once more before signing,“Never fucking leaving.”
And then he was gone.
It looked like I was going home, so I decided to make the most of it. I grabbed my phone and sat on the foot of the bed to text Marlee. If I was coming back to Chicago, I was definitely going to see her. I had no idea how long we would be in town or what the plans were, but at the very least, I was hoping to grab dinner or something.
Me: Hey heaux, you miss me?
Marlee: New phone, who dis???
