“Absolutely not.”
Like Zeta, I don’t want to leave my husband’s side at such a time, but I know nothing I say will sway him. Not today at least.
“Why don’t you feed him and finish packing?” he suggests, nodding at Amadeo. “I need to shower and shave, but I’ll give Lucia her bottle.”
After the heated gazes at night and warmth he’s displayed around our little family recently, I might be disheartened by the chilly and remote mob boss in my bed this morning if I hadn’t seen the fear yesterday or the mountain of guilt that lingers in his eyes. I don’t know how to convince him this wasn’t his fault, no more than Caterina’s marriage or Margareta’s death was. Simply being his puts a target on my back. Worse, it puts one on our children’s. That doesn’t mean I don’t consider him worth it.
“Our world is full of danger,” I say when he stands. “I grew up knowing that, but I want you to know I’m glad to be your wife.”
He swallows, thickly, before the cold mask returns. “Get dressed. We’ll need to leave before long.”
***
“You’re squeezing him,” Nico clips, and Maddalena loosens her hold on a fussy Amadeo. I give her a soft smile, understanding she’s nervous in the helicopter as she’s not too sure of flying yet.
She was a mess yesterday when she heard about the attack. She hasn’t raised any argument about our temporary move to the country, and I’m glad she’ll be with me. Her lessons can continue just as easily here, and Primo is one of the guards joining us. Unfortunately, Ersilia will remain in Chicago along with Nunzia. I’ll miss their motherly presence.
The sheep scatter when the helicopter touches down in the pasture, but Leone waits with a grim smile. “Your kids, Nikki?” he asks, glancing at the twins.
“Yes. Amadeo and Lucia. And this is my sister-in-law, Maddalena.”
“Twins and twins. If you knock Matilde up, maybe you’ll have quadruplets.”
“Very funny,” my husband deadpans.
Leone tickles Amadeo under his chin and gets the judgy little scowl that makes him snort. “He's yours, alright. Let’s get them inside,” he says, wasting no more time on greetings.
The roar of the fireplace and smell of bacon and coffee revives my spirits. Yana, the last remaining girl that was rescued from the warehouse, is frying eggs, and she wipes her hands on her apron to greet me, Maddalena, and the babies. She's from Latvia originally andasked to remain at the farm to cook and clean for Leone until she can enroll in a university here. Leone agreed.
Over breakfast, my husband and his uncle discuss the number of guard dogs, new gate procedures and their plan to erect a watch tower.
“Maybe you should dig a moat, too,” Maddalena suggests, trying to lighten the mood.
“Matilde, join me outside. Be sure to bundle up,” Nico says, brusquely.
On the front porch, I defend my sister. “She was not being serious. She only wanted-”
“I know. I want forty-five minutes alone with you.”
“Only forty-five?” I ask, trying to draw a smile out of him.
He glares at the horizon, shaking his head before reaching for my gloved hand. “Come.”
Along a dirt lane covered with a hard shell of frozen snow, we walk, my toes quickly succumbing to the cold in my fashionable leather boots. A sharp wind finds its way up my sweater dress. A farm girl should know to wear better clothes for the conditions here, but everything I’ve bought since our marriage was to fulfill my role as a Capo’s wife.
“Are you alright?” Nico asks, noticing my mincing steps.
“It’s cold, and I don’t want to slip.”
With a nod, he scoops me up with one arm under my thighs in a fluid movement that leaves me breathless. “Better?”
My arms circle his neck, and I savor his scent and closeness.“Grazie.”
“Prego.”
He slips back into silence after that, and I do, too, trying to read his expression and sort through my emotions. He decided Maddalena, the children and I would live at the farm until he deems it safe for us to return. I didn’t argue. The danger is too real for me to pretend I know better, but I worry for him, and I worry he’s going to pull away from me again after we’d started making real progress as a couple.
“You’ll listen to Leone and the guards. No sneaking off. No going places they forbid,capito?”
