The twins are turning one today, and I can't help getting emotional. I'm amazed by how much they've grown since our first meeting nearly a year ago. Sometimes, I'm filled with sorrow, remembering the lady they would've called mamma or mom in my place. Poor Margareta lost her life on this day last year. She never loved my husband, but I hope, somehow, she knows that her children are well loved.
Occasionally, doubts fill my head, making me wonder if I'm good enough for this role. Then, one of the children smiles at me or reaches for my hand, tugging on my heart in a way no one else can, and silences those doubts.
For myself, this past year has contained more extreme changes and challenges than I care to repeat, but it brought me where I am now. I found my family and a lasting home. I may regret losing my father and resent the secret he held for so long, I may sigh over my stepmother's treatment of me, and I may wish I knew my mother, but I gained my sister in the end, a love I'll always cherish. And while they're not my blood, Zeta, Dante and Leone, Frankie, Ersilia and Nunzia, Primo and even Ugo have become family in my heart.
After enough prompting from Nico, I agreed to meet with a therapist, too. She is the cousin of a Made Man and understands the word discretion and the world I come from. It seems a good fit and a promising start to this new chapter of my life.
I wasn't searching for romantic love when I arrived in this country last year, but I found it anyway. I never would've guessed that the stern-faced Capo with his strict rules and scary knife would melt me down and build me up into a stronger version of myself. I never would've believed how firmly he'd hold my heart in his unshakeable grasp or how utterly devoted he would become to fulfilling my every wish.
"There's my little baker. Are you ready?" Nico asks, standing in the doorway of the kitchen.
I smile, walking over to join him and relishing the feel of his strong arms wrapped around me. "Was the meeting okay?"
He gives me a tight smile before kissing me softly. "For the most part. Let's go get the children."
50
Nico
Dante had arrived early for the birthday party, requesting a meeting. He'd invited Eros, as my Consigliere, to come, too, so he would be aware of his plans. The timing isn't great, but my brother has been spiraling for months now. With a heavy sigh, I tell him what he wants to hear. "Okay."
"Okay? You're really okay with me leaving?" he asks.
"What choice do I have? You're useless to me like this. Go get her, win her back if you can and if Alessio doesn’t slit your throat first."
"I've caused you a lot of trouble."
He has, but he's still my younger brother. "What about Father?" I ask. He's stubbornly hanging on, but we know he's going to die one of these days. "I know you hate him…"
"I'll still come home for that if I can."
"When will you leave?"
"After the party."
It's useless to try and talk him out of this. "This is my fault for letting her go."
"No, Nico. It's my fault for not doing that myself."
Eros wishes him luck, and, with a heavy heart, I hug my brother, wondering if I'll ever see him again.
He asks to visit Amadeo and Lucia in the nursery, and once he goes to do that, Eros and I turn our attention to business.
We're discussing the expansion of our underground gambling operations when Primo steps into my office. "May I speak with you for a moment, Capo?"
Eros shoots me a puzzled smile, but I nod, telling my Consigliere we'll finish our discussion later. "Do you want a drink?" I ask Primo once we're alone.
He paces back and forth, shaking his head before nodding. Clearly, Primo has got himself worked up about something. I hand him a glass of bourbon, figuring he can handle it now that he's healed. "I want to talk about my future."
"You said you'd been accepted at DePaul and will begin in the fall semester. Has something changed?"
"No, I'll study Finance and Accounting like we discussed."
"You'll be incredibly useful to the Trio with that knowledge," I say, hoping he's not upset that I'm essentially removing him from most of the tasks Made Men perform.
"Yes, math was my best subject, and my mother is excited for me." I smirk to myself; certain she's overjoyed her baby boy's odds of living to a ripe old age have increased dramatically with this move. "I won't let you down, Capo."
"I'm sure of it. I suspect there's a 'but' coming."
