Another message pops up before I can respond.
Sutton: Please come. You need to have some fun.
Yep, they all know.
How much did Parker tell them?
Birdie: Come. I won’t make you sing.
The smallest chuckle escapes my lips.
The fact they care about me makes everything worse. My chest aches because I want to go because I found a group of friends and maybe a family. I want the noise and the laughter, but most of all, a distraction.
But I can’t. These are Parker’s sisters. He wins them in the breakup.
But I don’t even know if we did break up. Did he ask them to touch base with me?
The life I’ve worked so hard to build is unraveling.
Me: Sorry, I overbooked and I have appointments late into the night.
It’s a lie. A weak one at that. But it’s easier than the truth.
THURSDAY
I stare at the screen longer than I should.
The Armadillos have an away game this weekend, which means he'll be traveling. He’ll be alone with too much time to think and could spiral like I am.
My fingers hover over the keyboard before I can stop them.
Me: I know you have an away game. But I’m a phone call away if you need me or want to talk. I’m still your performance coach.
At least I hope I am.
I hit send and immediately regret it. It’s too much too soon when he said he’d call me when he’s ready.
It goes unanswered all day. All night.
FRIDAY
All week I’ve been thinking of how to fix this.
Not just with Parker but with myself.
With Nadia.
With all the girls.
So I sit on my stiff gray couch, pull a ruffled throw pillow onto my lap and send Parker another message.
Me: Do you have Nadia’s phone number?
The response comes faster than I expect, considering he blew me off yesterday.
Parker: Why?
I fold my lips over my teeth.
