My chest constricts with every word. “He took your innocence, their innocence and whoever else after that.”
My voice is softer now and her eyes meet mine. “And maybe I could’ve handled all of this if you had trusted me enough to tell me.”
Her face crumbles.
“I would’ve stayed, Annika,” I say, wiping one of my owntears that fell from my lashes. “Even if I didn’t understand right away… I would’ve stayed.”
If she trusted me enough, this wouldn’t be happening.
“That’s the part wrecking me right now,” I confess, my voice shattering, my heart constricting. “Not just what happened… but that you never believed I could handle loving all of you—cracks, flaws, everything.”
Tears spill faster down her cheeks.
“I know you were hurting and scared… but he hurt your teammates. I’m struggling because the woman I know is fearless and would fight for anyone,” I admit, voice thinning. “So, I keep trying to picture how scared you must’ve been back then.”
“I was fearless before him.” She cries, “I had to find my way back.”
My heart aches for her, and for me.
“I trusted you with my head. Handed you my heart on a silver fucking platter and you didn’t trust me.”
She adds, “I showed you the note.”
“You left out key details. You could have told me the night Nadia confronted you in the bathroom on Margarita night.” I sigh. “You didn’t.”
Sniffling, Annika admits. “I hoped it would go away. I guess Nadia was right… I’m good at pretending.”
There it is—the shaky truth.
“This is fucked up. I’m so sorry he violated you and your trust,” I say as I wrap my arms around her hoping to soothe the ache in both of our hearts. She digs her finger pads into my shoulder blades, anchoring me in place and I squeeze her tight until her cries weaken into sniffles and her grip loosens.
And God help me, part of me wants tostay forever.
But another part is bleeding out, knowing she never let me all the way in, knowing all too well that trust is my issue.
I step back because if I don’t, I know I’ll stay.
And right now, I need to process all of my emotions.
How do I love someone through this while balancing the fact she didn’t trust me to share the darkest parts of her life?
I need to go to the waterfall. Mom’s place.
“Annika, I love you, but right now, I need to go,” I say, my voice worn thin. “I need time to think.”
I press a soft kiss onto her lips that feels like goodbye even though it’s not what I want. My hand covers the doorknob.
Her face falls. “Parker—” She reaches for me.
“Don’t,” I whisper even though every instinct I have wants her in my arms. I grip the doorknob harder, turn and crack it open. “I’ll call you when I’m ready.”
THIRTY-ONE
PARKER
“Where were you?” J.D. asks, knowing something has me rattled.
I can’t answer but I feel my jaw shake and my eyes blister with tears. He grabs me into a hug. “Hey, you weren’t that off today,” he jokes.
