I looked back at him and then at Dr. Sy. I was still trying to process it.A therapist.
“If we’re gonna try this shit, I wanna do it right.”
“KO—”
“Nah.” He shook his head. “Hear me out.”
“We got too much history. We got too much hurt.” The tears started burning immediately. “And if we’re getting a fresh start, I don’t wanna drag a bunch of old shit into it.” For a second, I couldn’t say anything. Out of everything this man could’ve done tonight . . . this was what he chose. Healing. Maybe that was what healing was—picking up the pieces and deciding what deserved to stay. And for the first time in a long time, I wanted to believe that KO and I deserved to heal.
“We start fresh. We start healed.”
My eyes immediately dropped to the ground because if I kept looking at him, I was definitely going to ugly cry.
“You good with that?”
“Yeah.” I nodded before I trusted myself to speak. “Yeah, I’m good with that.”
A smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. “Alright.”
“Why don’t we sit?” Dr. Sy smiled knowingly before gesturing deeper into the garden. I glanced around for the first time. KO held out his hand, and I slipped my fingers into his. And together, we followed Dr. Sy deeper into the garden.
“Why don’t we sit?” Dr. Sy led us over to the sitting area I’d prepared for our date. The three plush chairs and an end table sat right in the middle of the rose garden. I figured if I was going to bring Lyrius to therapy for our first date, I’d better had made the shit romantic. When I called Dr. Sy and told him what I needed, he didn’t even hesitate. He just told me to send him the address. This man had been helping me unpack my shit for years, ever since I was a teenager. It was Mom and Pops’ idea that both Jaylen and I got counseling when we came to live with them. They said we would need it if we were ever going to be productive human beings in society. I didn’t understand it as a sixteen-year-old, but after the incident, I ran my ass back toDr. Sy a couple times, because this shit with Lyrius was a lot to unpack.
“Good to see you again, Dakota.” Dr. Sy settled into the chair across from us and smiled.
“Thanks for doing this,” I replied, making sure Lyrius was comfortable in her chair before taking a seat myself. Flying Dr. Sy out to Shoreline for the night was costing me damn near ten grand after travel, hotel, and the botanical garden rental. But honestly, I would’ve paid double, because Lyrius and I were trying to create a loving family for our son, which was worth investing in.
“So.” Dr. Sy looked between us. His eyes landed on me first. “You finally brought her.”
“Already starting?” I groaned.
“Absolutely.” Dr. Sy smiled. “Last time I saw you, you spent forty-five minutes explaining why you never wanted to see this woman again.”
“Yeah, that was then.”
Dr. Sy nodded. “And now?”
“Now we have a son.” My eyes landed on Lyrius.
“That son the only reason you’re here?”
“Nah. I want to forgive her.” I looked at Lyrius. “We want to try again.”
“Okay, let’s start with something simple.” The look on Dr. Sy’s face changed, and I could tell he was about to get down to business.
“When something traumatic happens, our brains try to protect us. Sometimes we do that by creating a story that helps us make sense of what happened.” He looked between Lyrius and me and set his notebook on his knee. “The problem is that the story isn’t always true.”
My jaw tightened because I already knew where this was going.
“Dakota,” he said, looking at me, “what belief did you carry about Lyrius?”
I leaned back in my chair, immediately knowing the answer. These last few years, I’d convinced myself Lyrius wasn’t real, not the woman I loved, anyway. The woman I loved and the woman who set me up couldn’t possibly be the same person.
“I told myself everything was a game,” I said. “I told myself she played a role.” My eyes found Lyrius again. “Told myself the girl I loved never existed.” Silence settled around us for a second, and Dr. Sy scribbled in his notebook.
“And what do you believe now?”
“She was scared.” I shrugged. “She made a terrible decision out of survival.”
