“Rocky in heaben with Debbie,” I hear Zane say over my shoulder.
I must not have heard that right, so I slowly turn my head and body to see the little boy that has sleepy eyes.
“What did you say, baby?”I ask.
“I don’t think—” I hear Melissa’s voice.
“Rocky in heaben with Debbie,” he repeats and starts rubbing his eyes.“He an angel.”
“Sutton…we need you to?—”
“How can Rocky be in heaven?—”
The image of being thrown in the van and the gunshots ringing out in his direction smack me in the face.How could I have forgotten that?
My head whips towards the adults in the room, and I see Raegan’s tears and the devastating look on Melissa’s face as she tries to hold all her emotions and expressions in.
“No, please tell me he…that he…” I can’t even say the words out loud.A sob wails from my chest as I let Zane’s words sink in.“Ohmygosh!”
Melissa, Ivy, and Raegan all rush over to me and lift me up into their arms while we all cry.
“I don’t understand,” I try to say in between sobs.“Are you sure?”
“Take a breath, Sutton,” Melissa tries to coax as I find it hard to breathe.“In through your nose then out through your mouth.”
A nurse comes in along with the prospect that’s been guarding the door, “What’s going on?”she asks as my monitor starts to beep rapidly.
It takes several minutes, but my breathing is finally manageable.My heart hurts, and I’ve got snot and tears leaking everywhere.
“Why?We were… This is all my fault,” I admit out loud and start shaking my head.
“No, it’s not.Do you hear me?”Melissa declares.“The person who pulled that trigger is to blame.Not you.”
“If I—” I start to say.
“If it wasn’t for Rocky, we’d never been able to find you, sweet girl,” Melissa mournfully says and grabs my hands sitting me back on the bed.“He was so brave and loved you so much.”
Her statement makes me cry even harder.
“We are going to need to get her to calm down, Dr.Spencer,” the nurse says over my shoulder.
“Let’s lie down for a bit,” Melissa suggests.Ivy and Raegan both help me get situated in the bed.
“I think we should probably go and let you rest,” Martha says trying to get Zane off the bed.
“He can stay,” I tell her and wrap my arms around his little body curled into my side.His head is on my chest.
“Please don’t cry, Mommy,” Zane whispers.“Daddy said we’ll see him again.”
My eyes close tightly, and with my free hand, I cover my mouth as I try to keep my blubbering as quiet as possible.
“Yes, we will, sweet boy,” I whisper back to him.
It doesn’t take him long before his breathing evens out and he falls fast asleep without a care in the world.
“We didn’t want to cause you any more stress so we were planning to tell you after the baby was born or when you were outta the woods,” Raegan says after we’ve all gotten ourselves under control.“We’re all just so worried about your health right now.”
“I remember that day now and seeing him,” I fill them in, but a shout down the hall halts our conversation.
