I always thought mission trips meant spreading the word of God to the local villages or building homes.
“Holes.They had us digging large holes in the fields so that they could build buildings underground to store stuff in.”
“What were they storing, Sutton?”I ask carefully.
The only thing I know that comes from Colombia is coffee beans and drugs.
She shrugs her shoulders, “I don’t know.Once we finished one hole, they moved us to the next one located somewhere else.”
“How long were you in South America?”
“Four years,” she says, and my heart drops into my stomach.“It was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.”
“Four fucking years?Why didn’t you leave?Why’d you stay so long?”
“Because they took my phone and passport when I arrived.I didn’t have any money or any way of getting home once they took me to a remote village,” she defends then crosses her arms over her chest.Her face is hard, and her eyes are narrowed towards me.
Placing my hands up in surrender, I change my face and body language to make sure she knows I’m not the enemy.
“It wasn’t an accusation, I’m sorry.Just shocked me.”
She rubs her face.“I know, sorry.”She finally looks back over at me.“I hate talking about it.Just want to forget it ever happened and what they did.”
My muscles lock into place when she says those last words.
“What did they do to you, Sutton?”
She starts to shake her head, “It doesn’t matter now.”
“Yes.It.Does,” I grit, grinding my back molars.“Anything that involves you matters to me.”
“But why?Why does it matter to you, when we haven’t even known each other that long?”
“Because when you walked into Frankie’s bar that night, something shifted in me.It was like a sign or a vision smacking me in the face.My head was jumbled from fighting with Stone earlier that day, but when I looked at you, it was like I was seeing things so clear for the first time,” I reveal to her.
“And what did you see?”
“My future.”
Her eyes widen, and she starts to shake her head.
“No.That can’t happen, you won’t want me?—”
“Why not?”I snarl back at her.
She’s still shaking her head back and forth.Reaching over, I place both hands on her cheeks stopping her movement.Her eyes meet mine and tears spill out.
“Why not, Angel?”
She sucks in a breath, and I feel her jaw quivering.“Because I’m dirty.”A pain-filled sob leaves her throat, and my chest tightens.
What doesdirtymean?
“Angel, you’ve got to tell me more and explain your words.I need you to spell this out for me.”My head is starting to swim with what I think she might be talking about.I try to school my face and calm my body to get her to finish talking.The urge to spring up from the bed and pace the room is strong, but I stay rooted in place.I brush her tears with my calloused thumbs as they stream out of her jade-colored eyes.
“They moved us around after we’d finish digging the deep holes.I think it was so that we couldn’t remember where the underground buildings were located.We’d only been at this new location for a day or two when we were sent to our huts to sleep.A big commotion broke out at the main camp.We’d heard gunfire and screaming.There were about ten of us in our hut, six girls and four guys.We were told to never come out at night or we’d be shot and left for the animals to feed on our bodies.”I stiffen, bracing for her next words.
“One of the guys thought we should make a run for it, but we were all too scared of what would happen if we were caught, so we stayed.The makeshift door flew open and a group of men with guns strapped to their bodies crowded our shoebox-sized space.”Sutton takes a shaky breath.“We tried to stop them, but…” her eyes drop down, and she pulls her knees up to her chest, resting her cheek on top of them.My blood is boiling; the need to smash something vibrates through my veins.I stand to my full height waiting for the next blow that’s going to tip my calmness over the edge.“They pulled all the girls out and into the field.Had us stand in a line…” My knees wobble, and she takes a deep breath before whispering, “They took turns?—”
