We walk together to the courtyard garden, and Eva makes small talk. It makes me wonder if she knows Alessandro’s suspicion of me.
“We’re fairy hunting today,” Eva says as we reach a lovely butterfly garden.
“Fairies?”
“I’m a fairy,” Mirabella says. “My daddy made me a fairy bedroom.”
“That sounds lovely. I wish I could be a fairy.” Then I could fly away and live wherever the fae live happily ever after.
Mirabella picks a bright yellow flower from the garden. "For you.” She offers the flower to me.
The simple gesture warms my heart. "Thank you. It's beautiful."
Mirabella beams, then skips ahead to examine a butterfly on a nearby bush.
“She’s adorable. And so sweet.” I sniff the flower.
“She is. Hard to believe people like me and Adriano could make such adorable sweetness.” She laughs. “Adriano especially can be ruthless, but with her, he’s putty.”
There’s something sweet about thinking of a hard man who lives a brutal life being softened by a child. I wonder if Alessandro would be like this with his children. But then I remember he doesn’t want children.
“He’s that way around you too,” I say, remembering the times I’ve seen them together.
Her smile is lovely. “Yes, well, we’ve been lucky.”
I look down at my flower, feeling jealous.
“You’re lucky too.”
I scoff. “I’m not.” I realize what I’m implying about Alessandro, and I reconsider whether I should be so forthcoming about how cold he is. After all, Eva is married to Adriano, Alessandro’s second in command. No doubt, she’ll tell him everything I say.
I course correct. “It’s not the same for us.”
“It could be. I’ve seen how Alessandro looks at you.”
“Lust, maybe, but… ”
“Well, it starts out like that with men. But Alessandro has never looked at a woman, much less like he looks at you. At first, they’re annoyed by the draw of a woman. Then they’re baffled by it. And eventually, they recognize and accept that they’re in love.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think that’s what’s going on with him.” I shrug. “Honestly, I don't know where I stand with him."
“He doesn’t know either, yet. But he will.”
“I doubt it. I mean, sometimes, he’s sweet. Sometimes, I think he sees me, maybe even likes me, but then like Jeckell and Hyde, hebecomes cold. He looks at me with distrust. Like I’m a threat.” Once again, I worry I’m saying too much. Then again, it’s not anything I haven’t told Alessandro.
Eva nods. "The Dante men aren't exactly known for their emotional transparency."
"That's putting it mildly."
She laughs softly. "When I first met Adriano, I thought he was terrifying. And then he was a romance hero come to life.” She looks down. “I betrayed that. I didn’t want to, but I didn’t see any choice. And when he came into my life again, there were some hot and cold moments from both of us. But we’ve come through it. This is new to Alessandro. He needs time.”
"How can I get close to someone who's constantly waiting for me to betray him?"
"Alessandro carries the weight of the entire family on his shoulders.” Eva pats my hand. “His father was a difficult man. Alessandro internalized a lot of what his father told him, including that vulnerability is a weakness, and for some reason, love makes them vulnerable. So does trust.”
A wave of despair settles on me as I imagine my life with Alessandro being filled with nothing but distrust and loneliness. I won’t even have children to occupy my time and fill my heart. "So, what hope is there for us?"
Eva turns to face me.. "The thing about Alessandro, about all the Dantes, really, is that their loyalty, once earned, is absolute. They'll burn the world to protect what's theirs."
