“You,” Perry says, “said your Kettle kicked you out a decade ago.”
“Oh.” I nod and try to pull away from Buckle, but he holds me closer. I relax into him. He’s so strong. And underneath the mechanic grease scent, there’s Buckle’s.
“You were a child,” Perry whispers. “How could they be so cruel?”
“We’re hawks,” I whisper. “And I’m a Beta. I’m expendable.” Unless they don’t have another heir.
Perry drops to his knees and takes my face in his hands. “No, you’re not. Gods. I want to—” He stops before saying what violence he wants to bestow upon my family.
“You’re important too, Abel,” Buckle adds.
I laugh, but it’s not joyful. “You don’t know me. I can’t contribute to providing an heir. I’m neither strong nor brave. Most of the time I’m either reading to escape or crocheting, so I have something to do with my hands so I’m not a danger to myself.”
The pair gasp at that. Buckle pulls one of my arms, no doubt to look for blade scars.
“It’s not what you think. I pick at my skin or pull out my hair. But when I’m crocheting, I don’t have that need. I make a lot of tiny hats and baby blankets to donate to the hospital for the newborns.”
Perry smooths hair from my face. “You’re more than whatever your Kettle said you are. Male Betas aren’t useless.”
“We’ll shower you with all the love and affection you’ve been missing.” Buckle rubs his head against mine, and I reciprocate the action. No one’s truly scented me in so long.
Perry rubs his head along my arm, and I wish I could scent him back.
I’m not sure if they’re pushing pheromones again. “I feel calmer. And this is nice,” I lean in to Buckle’s hold and lay my head on his chest. “I have another rule to add.” My voice is smaller than I intend.
They both nod.
“Do not pity me.”
“Never,” Perry says.
“It’s going to take me time to...” I swallow, the words hard to get out. “It’s going to take me time to trust you. I’ve been hurt.Not all of it the Kettle’s fault. I hurt my own feelings. I don’t let people help because I’ve had to do things on my own for a long time. I’m stubborn. But I don’t need pity. I always pull myself up. My life is small and simple. I don’t knowhowto be loved. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to have family. Just... Be patient. So so patient. Please.” My voice cracks. “And I’m so sorry for trying to eat you.” I bury my head in Buckle’s chest again. I cling to him hoping he nor Perry find me too much.
“Babe, we’re already smitten with you.” Buckle kisses the top of my head.
There’s the snick of a water bottle opening and Perry offers it to me. “Drink. That was a lot. We’re honored you trusted us to tell us all this.”
Buckle nods and takes the water bottle, waiting for me to take it from him.
“Good thing Riley gave me a long lunch. I’m going to have to recover from this.”
“You know,” Buckle says. “Riley is totally on your side. He’s a good guy.”
“I know,” I whisper.
I’m not ready to share how much Riley has helped over the years. “Let’s finish eating.” I wave to the food and Buckle simply scoots back to the table. “You can let me go.”
“What ifIneed this?” Buckle asks so sincerely I settle in.
“Okay, but I’m not a child. I don’t want to be fed.”
Buckle nods. “Understood. I just need to hold you for a little longer.” He rubs his head over mine again.
“What about a cuddle pile?” Perry asks. “For just a few minutes. I’ll set a timer.”
“What is a cuddle pile?” Logically Iknow, but I don’tknow.
Perry lays back. “We just lay in each other’s arms. It’s not sexual. At least it hasn’t been for me.”
