CHAPTER 1
BUCKLE
Wouldyou move across the country to be with the one man you’ve loved almost your entire life, but can’t have because he’s got a mate and kids now? I mean… I did, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. There’s no life without my best friend.
When Aaron asked me if I wanted to move my trailer onto his property in Michigan, I didn’t give it a thought. It was an instant yes, but I told him I’d think about it. Aaron’s a mink shifter and the reason my best friend finally knows I’m a shifter, too.
Pax, my best friend, is pregnant with his and Aaron’s third kid. I won’t say I wish the kids were mine because you already know that. I wish Pax were in my arms every night. I wish his ‘I love yous’ weren’t platonic. I wish he were mine.
Every date I go on, I end up comparing them to Pax, which isn’t fair to them or him. If only I could let him go. If only I could move on. He’s never loved me the same as I love him and I know it. It’s been unrequited love and the moment I felt his bond with Aaron, I should have freed my heart then. But I couldn’t. He befriended me when I needed it the most. No one else knows how dark my life had gotten when his kindness lifted me from the banks of hell.
Something bounces off the side of my head and I turn to face said best friend. His smile lights up the damn room. And the pregnancy glow makes him shine even brighter. His hand rests on his bump. He bitches about never getting his abs back, but he still does what he can in the gym. He still doesn’t look like a typical Omega other than being pregnant. When he’s not pregnant, you’d have to scent him to know his designation.
I find the stuffie he launched at my head and toss it back. Gently, of course, because I’d never do anything to hurt him.
“How’d the date go last night?” Pax asks as he waddles to the couch and sits.
I shrug. “Same as usual.”
Pax frowns and fiddles with the stuffed mink.
“She was nice,” I say. The unsaid, “but she wasn’t you,” hangs in the air. “I’m going to that speed dating thing at the library tomorrow night. Never know. Might find my Fated amongst the stacks.” But that’s not why I go.
I go because a certain grumpy librarian scowls at me from behind the desk whenever I’m at the library. Not sure what I’ve ever done to recieve the grumpy treatment, but he’s cute and one day I’ll woo him into liking me. I haven’t met someone I can’t win over. Which is why it’s so damn annoying I haven’t found my Fated yet.
“You go every month,” Pax says as he tosses the stuffie back at me. “What about laying off the dating scene for a little bit? All you’re doing is frustrating yourself. You’ve been going at warp speed since?—”
Aaron steps into the room holding Willow, their oldest daughter. “Got Forrest down for his nap, but Willie refused.”
“Bucky!” Willow does grabby hands for me and I take her from Aaron.
“Awe, my sweet dumpling, how are you today?” I nuzzle her cherub cheek, making her giggle.
I want this. My own family. I say that, but Pax and Aaron and Willow and Forrest, andallof Aaron’shugefamily, are also mine as much as my own extended family are.
I’m just lonely.
Lonely to my soul. People see me, but don’tseeme.
I’m Buckle. Just Buckle. The Alpha that can’t find his Fated. That can’t let go of his first love. That will never amount to anyone or anything.
“Wha ‘rong?” Willow asks and smashes her tiny hands on my cheeks. Observant little one.
Aaron gives Pax a look, and I brace for whatever they plan to talk to me about.
“Nothin’ dumpling. Just got something in my eye.” I close one eye and look around with the other, and she squeals.
Pax smiles when he takes her from me. I want to resist, to hold on, but that’s not healthy. She’s his daughter, not mine.
“Willow,” Pax coos as he puts her on her feet and hands her the mink stuffie. “Will you take Baby Minky to his bed and sing him a lullaby? He’s sleepy, but refuses to take his nap.”
“Yes, dada.” She wraps her arms around his neck, then takes the stuffie.
We watch as she races to their playroom. No doubt she’ll sing to the stuffie and pass out halfway through.
Pax straightens to his full height before plopping back on the couch again. He looks me dead in the eyes. “I’m worried about you.”
“Moi?” I press a hand to my chest. “What ever do you mean?”
