“Summer. You have never once, in your entire adult life, invited a man to family dinner. Not one. Not Bodhi. Not that guy that built furniture and was obsessed with you. None of them.” She paused to let that sit. “And I watched you do it last night like it was the most natural thing in the world. It did feel natural. He fit right in.”
“He did.”
“That’s not nothing,” she said. “And I think somewhere underneath all the glowing and the amazing coffee, you know that.”
I had known it the second I invited him to dinner. It had come out so easily. I had made a decision without fully understanding what it meant to have him over for dinner. My dad didn’t say anything, but I knew he felt how important it was.
“I know,” I sighed.
“Your heart is in this,” Becca said. “Maybe deeper than you even realize yet.” Her voice was gentle. She’d always been honest with me. I did the same for her with her ex. We had to look out for each other and that included having tough conversations.“And that’s not a bad thing. That’s a beautiful thing. But I need you to do something for me.”
“What?”
“Talk to him,” she said. “Not in six weeks. Not at the end of August when it’s already too late and you’re standing at the window watching him load up his car.” She looked at me with kindness in her eyes. “Sooner. Now. I know you and you’re going to be all about living in the moment, but you’re not that young carefree woman anymore. I think things are going to be much harder this time.”
“I know.”
“You also need to talk about what happens when Judd’s port falls apart,” she said. “Because it sounds like he’s going to make that happen. And once he does, the reason he’s here is gone. Does he go back to Texas? Is that it? Does he have any reason to stay in Surfside once the job is done? And if he leaves, Summer, does he have any intention of ever coming back?”
I had been thinking about that from the moment I learned he was coming back to town. Last night I had been able to pretend the end of summer was a million years away, but it was happening soon. He was going to leave. Would it be another four years before I saw him? Would he go off and meet a woman and get married? Have kids?
“I don’t know,” I said.
“You need to find out now,” Becca said firmly. “Not six weeks from now.”
Ocean laughed at something in his book and the sound of it broke the moment between us. River shushed him without looking up from her own pages.
“What if I ask and the answer is no?” I said quietly. “What if he says he’s going back and that’s it?”
“Then you know,” she said. “And you make your choices with your eyes open. Which is so much better than what happenedlast time. I’m not saying you don’t enjoy the rest of the summer, but I’m saying guard your heart. Brace for impact.”
“Yeah,” I said softly. “I know.”
I needed to ask Colt what his plans were. Not because I wanted to brace myself for the worst but because I was done building something in the dark without knowing if it had any foundation under it at all.
I checked the time. “I better shower. I have a private lesson in an hour.”
The shower was hot enough to fog the mirror in under a minute. I stood under the spray and let it work on the knots in my shoulders and the ache in my lower back and tried very hard not to smile like a complete idiot. I was a little sore. Worth it.
I pressed my forehead against the cool tile and let the water run down my spine and thought about what Becca had said.
But there was something she wasn’t considering—he could stay.
He could stay in Surfside. He had a house here. He loved it here. Why did there only have to be the one option? I turned and let the water hit my face.
Texas was his home. The Anderson name was built into that land the same way my mother had planted herself in front of this beach. I understood that. I respected it. It was one of the things I loved about him.
Even if he wanted to stay, what did that look like? A man like Colt Anderson had big responsibilities. He had investors and board meetings and all that boring stuff. He had brothers and a father and a mother who had built something in Texas that required his attention and his presence. He had a life that existed a thousand miles from where I was standing.
And I had a life here. My family was here. I couldn’t leave. He couldn’t leave. So, where did that leave us?
CHAPTER 34
COLT
The afternoon sun was doing its best to cook the sidewalk as I came down the steps of City Hall. I slid my sunglasses on and pulled my keys from my pocket. The meeting had gone the way I needed it to go. The details were boring and I had better things to think about.
Like the reason for the sore hamstring and bruised knees. I didn’t go for a run because I slept in and I figured I’d had a good workout the night before.
