“No,” I say quickly. “But he has this thing. A condition.Testicular lithiasis.” I say it the way Kent said it, like a fact, a diagnosis from a chart.
Kayleigh’s face is blank, eyebrows raised to maximum altitude. “What the fuck is that?”
“It’s like kidney stones, but in the…” I glance around, lower my voice further. “You know. In the balls.”
Kayleigh lets that hang in the air for a beat. Then, in a stage whisper: “There are ball stones?”
I nod, fighting the urge to laugh or cry or do both at once. “It’s allegedly not that rare, and lots of guys have it. But most men are asymptomatic. Unfortunately for my stepdad, he’s not most men so it’s really painful, and the only treatment is, um—manual massage.”
My pretty friend’s mouth drops open, and she stares at me as if I’ve just confessed to harvesting human organs. “You’re shitting me.”
“I wish,” I say. “But it’s a real thing. Kent showed me the Mayo Clinic article.”
Kayleigh recovers with a gulp of her latte. “So, what? Doctors have to, like, have to squeeze his balls until the rocks break apart?”
I nod. “Basically. Or help massage them out.”
She closes her eyes, pinches the bridge of her nose, and takes a breath. “Mary Kate, are you telling me you’re massaging your stepdad’s nutsack? For medical reasons?”
I flush so hard I can feel the heat in my hairline. “Not yet. But—I said I would. Tonight.”
The table is silent. Kayleigh puts her cup down a little too hard, coffee slopping over the edge. “Let me get this straight,” she says. “Your stepdad, who is, not to be weird, a hottie physician, asks you—his stepdaughter—to give him a ball massage? And your mom is in California, just chill with this arrangement?”
“It’s not like that,” I say, too fast. “He’s my stepdad, not my real dad. And he’s in so much pain, Kayleigh. He said he can barely sleep some nights because of the ache. It’s not sexual, it’s, like, physical therapy. Besides, Kent said he could get a nurse, but he doesn’t like the thought of someone he doesn’t know touching him there.”
Kayleigh guffaws.
“And his stepdaughter is a better choice?”
I shrug. “I guess.”
Kayleigh’s eyes narrow. “You’re the only one he wants, you mean. Don’t be naive, girlfriend.”
I take a breath, let it out slow. The coffee is suddenly sour in my mouth. “It’s not like that,” I repeat, but the phrase sounds less convincing this time.
Kayleigh leans back in her chair, folding her arms over her chest. “No seriously, there’s something fishy about this scenario. But are you okay with this, MK? I mean, seriously. You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”
“I know.” I stare at the cup, watch a bead of condensation slide down its side. “But I owe him, Kay. Kent paid for my tuition, my apartment, everything. He gave Jeannine and me a real home. It’s the least I can do.”
She is quiet for a long moment, then says: “Did he tell you how to do it?”
I shake my head, face burning. “Not yet. He said he would show me the technique. There’s a special way to do it, or you could, like, cause permanent damage.”
Kayleigh whistles low. “Wow. Just wow.”
Then my friend leans in again, her voice a soft, and almost gentle. “Are you nervous?”
I nod, and my hair falls into my face. “Terrified. What if I fuck it up and hurt him somehow?”
She shrugs. “You’re not going to break his balls, Mary Kate. Literally or figuratively. You’re the most careful person I know, and you’re gentle.”
A lump rises in my throat, and I have to swallow twice to get words out. “Thanks.”
Kayleigh reaches across the table, puts her hand over mine. Her fingers are warm and reassuring. “Just be careful,” she says. “And if you ever feel weird about it, you call me. I’ll come get you.”
I nod, then squeeze her hand back. “You’re the best.”
She grins, color flooding her cheeks again. “You know it.”
