Yamal says I will get less anxious if Daddy keeps me close with the harness, but I’m starting to doubt it. It’s been several days, and I don’t think I’ve gotten better at all.
Daddy isn’t here with me right now, and the panic is rolling through me, and there’s a slight ringing in my ears.
“Daddy?” I call out once again, but silence meets me.
Where did he go? Did he leave the apartment?
No.
Daddy wouldn’t do that, knowing how I have been feeling over the past couple of days. He told Yamal and me that he would never leave me, and I believe him.
“Daddy!” I scream as tears roll down my face.
I crawl away from the couch and toward his room. Maybe he went in there for something and can’t hear me.
“Little Pet?” he calls back.
I sit on my bottom and look at Daddy’s room as he walks out.
“Where were you?” I whisper.
“Oh, Little Pet. I went to put on a different shirt and didn’t think you would wake up so soon,” he honestly tells me. “Daddy is so sorry for leaving you alone. I didn’t do it on purpose. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
He picks me up and hugs me tightly.
“I don’t want you to ever leave me again,” I mumble into his chest. “Please don’t leave me.”
“I’m so sorry, Little Pet. I didn’t mean to make you panic. From now on, I won’t leave your side when you take a nap. I will be there before you wake up in the morning,” he gently says.
I snuggle into his embrace as he sits on the couch, running his hand up and down my back.
“Maybe I should get a wrap so that when you take a nap, I can carry you on my chest. That way, I’ll still be able to do things around the apartment if I need to. Or when we are at work,” he mutters to himself. “What do you think about that?”
“I like that idea,” I reply. “Then I can always be close to you.”
“I’ll ask someone to make it as soon as possible.” Daddy kisses the top of my head.
We sit in silence for several minutes. A tight ball of guilt in my stomach as we sit there.
“What’s wrong, Little One?” Daddy asks. “You’ve gone stiff in my arms.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I know you didn’t sign up for this. I wish I could tell my brain to stop so that you don’t have to be near me all the time, but I can’t. It has a mind of its own. I worry any time you leave me.”
Daddy pulls away from me, and we make eye contact. “You don’t have to apologize. While I don’t like what happened to make you like this, I do like that you are relying on me and want to be close to me. It makes me happy to keep you close to me and take care of you.”
“But I bet you want some time to yourself, and you aren’t getting that with me like this,” I point out.
“No. I never want to have time to myself. I want you near me at all times,” he replies. “And you aren’t the only female like this. I know that an incident happened to make another female scared to be away from her Daddy as well. She still wants to be close to him, so don’t feel bad. I love this, and so does the other Daddy.”
I purse my lips and search Daddy’s face. Is he really telling the truth?
“Nora, believe me. Trust me. I am over the moon that you want to be near me, but I wish it was for a different reason, not because you got so scared,” he softly says.
I take a deep breath and slowly let it out before I lean my head on his chest. I guess in time, I am going to just have to trust him. Daddy has been taking care of me, but I can’t help but the doubt and guilt enter me.
“I will prove to you that I don’t mind at all. And don’t think this morning’s incident has any bearing on how I feel. You were so soundly asleep on the couch next to me. I thought it would be okay to change my shirt. I won’t be making that mistake again,” he tells me. “You are going to stay by my side every second, to the point where you might beg me to leave you alone. But you know what?”
I wait for him to continue, but he doesn’t.
