My stomach swooped as if I had a roller coaster right there in my torso and I was in the front with no seatbelt. His innocence was disarming. My walking soft spot with a pulse. Staying here with him was a mistake, but it was my favorite mistake.
“You should drink some more Gatorade,” I murmured, stare dropping back to his lips.
You know, to check for signs of dehydration.
“I don’t want to.”
Without thinking, I leaned down, dragging my nose along his. “What do you want?”
Our noses bumped again when he lifted his chin, offering up that sweet mouth once more.
My self-control would be expiring in three, two,one?—
My cell went off again, the noise snapping my attention up, forcing my eyes over his head.
Heart racing, a feeling of dread coiled low in my belly like a snake ready to squeeze the life right out of me. Groaning beneath my breath, I pushed back the blankets and started to get up. The arms around my neck tightened, a voiceless request to stay put.
I was tempted.So fucking tempted. But the phone continued to disrupt the silence, a cruel alarm reminding me my time was up.
“I can’t ignore it again, baby.”
He made a sound, and my heart clenched.Baby.
That right there was against all kinds of rules.
Peeling myself away, I slipped from the bed to grab my phone.
“Yeah,” I said into the line. The people who called me never expected polite conversation. Didn’t deserve it either.
“Took you a while to answer,” the voice replied.
I didn’t bother offering an explanation. Again, I wasn’t there to be polite.
After a long stretch of nothing, someone cleared their throat. It wasn’t me.
“There’s a job.”
There was always a job. As soon as one ended, three more popped up in their place. I considered my life one of forced servitude, something I never really agreed to yet somehow found purpose in anyway.
“Go on,” I said, turning my back completely to the blond in my bed. Even with the wall of my shoulders between us, Istill felt him.
The voice started talking, and the tension I’d managed to live without for the past few hours crept back with a stronger edge than before.
Punishment for being reckless.
When the voice on the line went quiet, I shouldered the weight of my reality, and my brain went allI told you so.
“Do you copy?” they finally asked.
“Affirmative,” I snapped, then ended the call. Instead of turning back to the resolve-wrecking siren in my bed, I tossed aside the phone and grabbed my pants, pulling them on without bothering to do up the fly.
After snatching a cigarette, I paced over to the window, struck the match aggressively against the flint on my ring, and watched a spark ignite into flame. The second I inhaled, the sharp sting of tobacco burned past my tongue to smother the oxygen in my throat. A thin, icy blast of night air floated into the room when I cracked the window, winding around my bare chest as I leaned my head against the wall to release a stream of smoke. I could already feel the nicotine working its magic over my strained nerves as I stared out toward the starless sky. Pinching the thin cylinder between two fingers, I inhaled again, letting the hostile burn consume me before puffing out toward the open window.
“Smoking is bad for you.” Even his attempt at scolding was sweet.
I made a humorless sound, keeping my eyes on the sky. “Born to die, remember?”
“Well, you don’t have to help the dying part along.”
