“The training was intense. Basically mandatory torture and hazing. They said they did it so we could survive anything, but I think those bastards just liked to be cruel.”
I moved toward him.
He stopped me again. “Stay where you are.”
I made a sound.
Pain flashed over his face. “Please, baby.”
I nodded, and he blew out a breath. “This shit doesn’t even belong in the same room as you. I’m only telling you so you can understand how fucked up my head is.”
“I didn’t mean that about the doctor. I think your head is fine.”I hurt his feelings.
He barked a laugh. “I know, kitten. You match vibes, and I love it. But this shit… it’s not a joke. It’s real life, and you gotta know what you’re dealing with.” Hands on his head, he tipped it back and looked up at the ceiling. “Haven’t wanted a cigarette like this in a long time.”
Forgetting the boundaries he put between us, I padded across the floor and wrapped my arms around him from behind.
He groaned like I was hurting him.
I hugged tighter.
“So innocent,” he whispered. “My reason.”
I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I was afraid to ask because I wanted to stay where I was.
“From the minute I saw you running from those deadbeats on the street, I wanted you. I couldn’t admit it to myself then,but I did. I followed you around for weeks, stepping up to anything that tried to get into your path. Leaving a silent trail of carnage in your clueless wake.”
He’d stopped people from hurting me? How many times? I’d always known he was there, but this, I never suspected.
“I always say sometimes it’s good to remember why I do what I do because people like you are few and far between. But I couldn’t keep my eyes or hands off you. I was supposed to be protecting you, not dragging you closer to corruption.”
I leaned my head into his shoulder. “You didn’t drag me anywhere, Hiro. I came looking.”
It was why I didn’t move away like I’d planned. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I hoped someday I’d see him again.
“They set us up,” he confessed. “The government. They told us top-secret intel, shit no one was allowed to know, after turning us into killing machines. Then one night, they dropped us in the middle of a desert to take out who they deemed the enemy.”
“What happened?”
“We walked right into an ambush. The very people who swore we could trust them sent us to die.”
I sucked in a breath, and he kept talking. “I guess they decided we knew too much. That they were scared of what they created. The people we were meant to take out probably got tipped off and bargained for their freedom, and our government traded it for ours.”
“They tried to kill you?”
“They didn’t try. They did. Killed all of us and left me for dead too. But I moved out when they weren’t looking. Shovedmy fingers in the hole they blew into my gut and crawled into a closet in some shack. I knew I’d never make it out of there, but I figured if I was going to go out, I’d do it my way, not theirs.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, hugging him harder while trying not to imagine what it must have been like that night.
“I planned to draw a bunch of them to me and then blow the entire shack. Take as many of them with me as I could.”
“But you’re still here,” I whispered, silently thanking the universe.
He hummed. “Kieran found me before they did. Should have seen the look on his face when he saw me lying there still breathing.”
It probably looked a lot like his did when he saw Kieran instead of a gun.
“I was shocked he wasn’t dead. I thought I was the last one alive. But there he was on two feet and looking fucking pissed.” The last two words were spoken with a hint of fondness and not just pain.
