“There you go, using big words I don’t understand.”
There he goes, being charming. “It means someone who seized power without any right to.” But it’s misguided. Because what power did I have this week to stop this train wreck? None. “How’s your hand?”
“Hurts.”
“I’m not going to kiss it to make it feel better.” He chuckles, and it hurts to look at him, so I pull my hand back and turn away. “Two things happened this week that you should know about. One, the Cherry Smasher left me a gift—he or she shredded my sweater, the one I lost in Fort Lauderdale. And two, I applied for a librarian position near Wild Heart.”
“Whoa. Back up. That’s a lot.” He runs his hands through his hair. “Tell me about the sweater.”
I detail everything that happened and how I ultimately tossed it in my luggage. “I didn’t know what else to do. I couldn’t reach you?—”
Between one beat of my heart and the next, he pulls me onto his lap, so I’m sitting sideways, and cradles my face. “Aurora. Baby. What if something had happened to you and Layla? Y’all were all by yourselves. Why didn’t you call me?” He seems to remember a key detail. “I didn’t have my phone.”
“You didn’t have your phone.” I give him a sad smile. “The Cherry Smasher wants me gone. Your bandmates want me gone. Pretty sure your label wants me gone. I’m starting to think that’s a good idea.” I grab his wrist. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but at the end of the day, you and I want different things. I never should’ve come on this tour. You need the ability to flirt with other singers and perform however you or your label want. This is your lifelong dream. You’ve busted your ass to get here, and I respect that.” It’s true. It pains me to no end, but I respect his hustle. “I feel like I’m getting in the way, so I applied for a librarian position. I need to go home in two weeks to interview.”
Squeezing his eyes shut, he ducks his head, pressing it into my neck. “You might not believe me, but I’ve been faithful, Aurora. Every single smile I gave her was because Niles demanded it.”
My walls crumble, and I blink back the tears as I hug him back. “I’m not mad at you. Not anymore. I was hurt, really hurt, but I know this is just business for you. At the end of the day, though, I don’t think we’re a good fit. I appreciate the chance you gave me to come on this tour. I like to think I’m a little braver than I was a few months ago.”
When he looks up at me, his eyes are wet like mine. “You were never just my nanny or my nanny with benefits. You’ve become my best friend, and I need you to know that. I’ve fuckedup every way possible this week, and all I can do is ask for another chance. But you sound like you’ve made up your mind.”
There’s only one thing he can say to make me stay.
Three little words.
Those three words could cover a multitude of sins. As long as he’s been faithful, as long as he’s been true to me, if he loves me, then I’ll find a way to rebuild the bridges we decimated in the last week.
As I stare at his sad green eyes, with my heart in my throat, I beg him to say he loves me.
But after a long, painfully awkward pause when he doesn’t mutter a word and I’m too mortified to ask him outright how he feels, I gather all my courage and my broken heart to lie. “I think I’ll be happier being a librarian than staying with you.”
He swallows. Nods. Hugs me again while I cry because this fucking hurts. “Can you promise me something, baby?”
I wipe my eyes. “What?”
“If you ever need anything, anything at all, I want you to call me.”
“Okay.”
“Swear it.”
“I swear.” I take a shuddering breath. “Can you not tell the guys anything for a few days? I don’t want to deal with them for a little while.”
He kisses my forehead. “Anything you want.”
I only wish that was true.
50
JACE
Fans screamwhen we walk out onto the stage. The arena is packed. On autopilot, I smile and wave.
I should be walking on water, hyped over how well this tour is going. But all I can think about is the remoteness in Rory’s eyes when we talked this afternoon. She’s really leaving. She’s done with me.
I can’t blame her. If some asshole treated me the way I did her, I’d be done too. She was far too gracious with me.
Except I don’t know what to do with this gaping hole in my chest. I press my hand to the spot, sure it’s visible to the crowd. I attempt another smile as I lean toward the mic. “Hey, Oklahoma City! So happy to be here with you tonight.”
