Goldie leans back, studying me the way only my twin can—like a surgeon rummaging through my brain and heart files.
“Okay, you’re concerning me,” she says. “You haven’t been this quiet since college, when you came home after?—”
“She’s here,” I interrupt, dragging a hand down my face. My stubble scrapes loud in my own ears.
Our hotdish arrives, steaming, molten in the middle and crispy on top. Normally this is a spiritual experience. Today it’s just…food. I burn the roof of my mouth and accept that this day is just not going to get better.
“Who’s here?” Goldie asks.
“Lola.”
“YourLola?” Her eyes go wide.
My chest twists at that, like she could still be mine. But I nod anyway. “Yeah. My Lola.”
“In Windy Harbor?”
“I’ll do you one better. She’s staying at Windhaven…with Patrick fucking Martin.”
Her mouth drops and her fork clanks against the table. “From the Dallas fucking Suns?” Her voice gets higher with each word, and she clamps her hand over her mouth.What the fuck?she mouths.
“Apparently they’re dating, and he brought her here for a romantic getaway, knowing full well it was our resort.”
“And Lola? Did she know?”
“She claims she didn’t?”
“Do we believe that?”
I lift my shoulder. “I’m not sure what to believe at this point.”
Her brows lift and she leans back. “I never even met her, but I know that name comes with a lot of heartache for you.”
I stab at the hotdish. “It’s been years. I’ve dated. I’ve lived. I’ve done the whole ‘I’m fine, actually’ tour.”
Goldie gives me a sad look. “You were never fine about Lola. You totally shut down. When you were together, you talked about her all the time, and when she left, you barely ever did again. This is the most we’ve spoken about her in all these years. And that’s not you.” She points back and forth between us. “We’reoversharers with each other.”
“I know. She was the first person to make me really laugh after Mom died. She…meant a lot to me.”
She nudges my foot under the table. “You loved her, didn’t you?”
Didn’t. Like it’s past tense. Like it’s neatly wrapped in a tidy bow andover.
I look down at the plate, crispy tots blurring in my vision, and nod.
“She’s the only person I thought maybe I could see a forever with,” I finally admit.
Goldie exhales, and her eyes fill with tears. She reaches for my hand.
“You’ve never told me that. I’d hoped you didn’t talk about her because of anger or embarrassment over the way she left, but deep down I always suspected that it was because you really loved her. I’m so sorry, Tulls. You’re still not over her, are you?”
I can’t hold her gaze. I look down at my plate and take a deep breath. “No, I don’t think I am. Seeing her laughing with him like it’s easy? Like she’s moved on and didn’t wreck me?”
Goldie softens even more. That’s the thing about her—mysister can set anyone straight, but she’s the safest place on earth.
She also does the unexpected, keeping all of us on our toes. I love this about her.
For example, now she reaches across the table and steals half my hotdish onto her plate.
