“Oh gosh, I should probably tell him…” Ellie’s heart stopped for a second before she saw the grin. “It’s fine, he’s fine with it. If Becca was a guy it would be a different dynamic. Well… more than different, if we play with a guy Colt has to be there so we wouldn’t be doing it like this anyway.”
“You play with guys too?”
Kelly shrugged. “Sometimes… look, if you’re curious I can explain sometime. For now, let’s just say that he’s delighted I’m going to have someone else here while he’s away tomorrow night. He gets worried when I’m here on my own. It’s not like we’ve got next door neighbours.”
Ellie nodded her understanding, appreciating the layers there must be. Superficially, and presumably all that his buddies would ever know or see, is that Kelly had friends over to stay. But then deeper down, the rest.
“But he knows what’s going to happen when he’s away?”
“One hundred percent. You can talk to him about it if you want, he’s happy to discuss it.”
They sat down to dinner on the porch, the sky blazing with stars and a nearly full moon. Colt asked Ellie about her job, and despite readily admitting that he’d never given much thought to how the phone in his pocket worked he asked some astute questions. Likewise with Becca and her therapy practice… he asked questions that showed he’d been listening. They were a good double act, Colt and Kelly, his solidity dovetailing perfectly with her energy and sense of fun.
What Ellie noticed also, though, was what wasn't happening. Becca and Kelly were being careful, conspicuously, deliberately careful not to touch, not to flirt, not to let their dynamic show while Colt was there. They sat on opposite sides of the porch, directed conversation outwards rather than towards each other, and when they did interact it was warm but measured, the friendly of friends, not sometime lovers.
It was respectful, Ellie thought, wondering whether they’d mutually agreed to be careful or if it was both women’s instincts coming to the fore. It was the right call. Whatever happened between them would happen after Colt left, on its own terms, and in the meantime the four of them were simply having a good evening together. But, having noticed it, she could feel the restraint in the air too, the thing that wasn't being expressed, and she suspected Colt could feel it too… not because it bothered him, but because he knew his girlfriend well enough to know when she was holding herself back.
At one point Kelly said something funny and Becca threw her head back laughing. For just a second Kelly's expression as she watched Becca laugh was laced with something more than the careful distance she'd been maintaining all evening. It lasted half a moment before Kelly caught herself and redirected, but Ellie saw it, and when she glanced at Colt she caught him looking at her with a small, knowing smile.
It was a tiny moment but it mattered. Ellie and Colt both saying to each other:I see it too. It's ok. We're good.
Ellie hadn't expected to find solidarity with a sandy-haired horse breeder named Colt, but there it was.
Around ten, Kelly brought out a bottle of bourbon and they went and sat down on the lawn in front of the house, the Milky Way now visible above. It was a very pleasant temperature by then and the four of them sat talking quietly while the sounds of the crickets and the occasional distant cattle went on around them.
"This is the most relaxed I've been in months," Becca said, her head resting against the back of the chair she was sharing withEllie, their legs pressed together and both of their eyes on the sky.
"That's what this place does," Colt said. "Strips everything away. No noise, no screens, no bullshit. Just the land and the sky,” he smiled, “and whatever you brought with you."
"Poetic for a cowboy," Kelly teased.
Colt simply winked at her and pulled her in closer against him, and Ellie laughed and thought:I like him. I really, genuinely like him.
They turned in not long after, Colt and Kelly disappearing into their room with a goodnight that was friendly and nothing more. Ellie and Becca closed the guest room door and stood looking at each other in the lamplight.
"I like him," Becca said, echoing Ellie's thoughts.
"Me too. A lot."
"He's not what I expected."
"What did you expect?"
"I don't know. Someone louder, maybe. More alpha. The kind of guy who'd need to prove he was ok with whatever we represent by overcompensating." She paused. "He's just... comfortable. With himself, with Kelly, with us being here. It's like it doesn't even occur to him to be threatened." She paused. “Not that he should of course.”
"I think he understands it," Ellie said. "Not just tolerates it. Actually understands it. I caught him looking at Kelly whenshe was looking at you tonight, there was a moment where she forgot and looked at you like she wanted to tear your clothes off right then and there… hot by the way, very hot… and there was something in his expression that didn’t just sayI’m fine with this. It was more likeI love this. Sound familiar?”
Becca moved closer and put her arms around Ellie's neck. "Maybe you two have more in common than you’d expect."
"A horse breeder from the hill country and a lesbian tech engineer from Portland. That sounds like the world's most unlikely support group."
"You should start a podcast."
"Maybe we should…”
They kissed, softly at first and then not… the excitement of what was to come tomorrow and the warmness of their welcome that evening combining to create something that neither of them wanted to resist. They made love slowly, quietly, mindful of the thin walls and the couple at the other end of the house (“staying with parents rules,” Becca whispered, giggling, as she put her hand over Ellie’s mouth when she came too noisily), the sex tender and purely, entirely just for them.
Afterwards they lay cuddled together, the window open, the night air cool on their damp skin while the ceiling fan turned above. Becca's head was on Ellie's shoulder, her usual place, and the silence of the hill country was so complete that Ellie could hear her own heartbeat slowing.
